Texas Will Make Your Kids Stupid: The Final Chapter

Weird... I always thought slavery was fairly important to American history. Then again, I thought the same thing about Jefferson, MLK, science, and freedom.

May 19, 2010

The Texas School Board will meet this week to make the final votes on a list of changes to the history curriculum that will destroy our concept of American history. I know I often mock, mercilessly in some cases, those who want to do something “for the sake of the children,” but this is actual harm. Now, they’re going to get to learn about Moses and our lack of slavery in history class. Oh joy.

As if the re-labeling of the Civil Rights Movement, taking out Thomas Jefferson, and otherwise indoctrinating children into a highly conservative way of thinking weren’t enough, there are a few other changes that are troubling, not just for the racial insult one presents, but for the distortion of science in another.

Moses Is In, Jefferson Is Out

That’s right, kids. The guy who wrote the Constitution had less impact than a guy who wouldn’t ask for directions for 40 years. Moses, it seems, was behind the Constitution more than Jefferson, so since Jefferson is now out because, let’s face it, the slave-banging Nazi doesn’t deserve to be in our books, we can now learn about Moses, a man who poured molten gold down the throats of his people when they disobeyed God.

It’s understandable… to a point. The story of Moses, a leader willing to give up a life of riches to free his enslaved people, has inspired Americans since the pilgrims. That much I understand. I just would like to know where people get off saying that the man who brought the Ten Commandments had an influence on one of the most influential calls to freedom, including RELIGIOUS freedom, in all history.

Maybe Half-Governor Palin can shed some light on this.

…If this had been a history test, they’d both be in summer school in two weeks.

We’re not based on Judeo-Christian beliefs because, and I’m sure you’ll both back me up on this, the Constitution does not mention Jesus in any way, shape, or form. It only mentions an amorphous creator, a very DEIST concept. Secondly, the freedom of religion is not there to protect Christianity religion from being oppressed. It’s there for everyone. And thirdly, even if points one and two were false, creating a government based on a single religion creates second-class citizens of those who do not follow that religion.

Can someone please buy a book on the Enlightenment for these two?

Oh, and if you think our rights come from God, I’d like you to look at this list of the Ten Commandments.

1) You shall have no gods before me
2) You shall not make for yourself an idol
3) You shall not blaspheme
4) Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy
5) Honor thy father and mother
6) You shall not kill
7) You shall not commit adultery
8) You shall not steal
9) You shall not bear false witness
10) You shall not covet thy neighbor’s possessions.

Well, look at that… Only ONE of them, number 8, is actually a crime. Some of the others are only crimes under specific circumstances. To be fair, the translation for the sixth commandment is often translated as “kill” or “murder” depending on the Bible you use. If it really us “kill,” then out goes capital punishment and wars. If it’s murder, then yes, two out of ten are against the law.

But wait! There’s more!

Newton? What did HE Know?

Ah, Newton, old-school nerd extraordinaire. He gave us the three laws of motion, mathematics, and helped move the scientific revolution along, which is why you can read this text on a computer screen instead of a leaflet I would hand out like a crazy person.

Yeah… he’s gone from the books.

Now, Texas students can learn all about the great advancement of science… through military technology!

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Granted, times of war spur technological development. World War II, for example, gave us nuclear weapons and, later, nuclear energy. And nuclear energy, of course, gave us the X-Men, Spiderman, and half of Stan Lee’s creations.

This one’s sneaky. It’s a lie by omission. The more dangerous part of it, though, is that it promotes the idea that war is good for scientific developments. Conflict breeds creativity, makes us stronger. Hey… I think I’ve heard this one before…

Oh, right. Great. Now Texas is taking notes from 1990’s video games.

And that was a GOOD game!

The idea that war is a legitimate means of improving a nation means that we must be in perpetual conflict if we wish to be better. What incentive does this give us to pull out of Afghanistan and Iraq? It makes us stronger, right? Maybe we’ll start a war with New Zealand next. It’s been a while since we saw some action in the Pacific.

Slavery? What’s That?

Hispanics already got the shaft when it comes to a lot of these textbook changes, but even ignoring that hip hop is a legitimate culture and putting Dr. King in the same category as the Black Panthers and blaming the Civil Rights Movement for, “unrealistic expectations of equal outcomes” for minorities in America, this one is just going TOO far.

America didn’t have a slave trade.

Oh, that’s right. There was no slave trade. We did, however, have something called the “Atlantic triangular trade.”

Can you just smell the propaganda?

It’s like saying that the Enola Gay didn’t nuke Hiroshima. It simply delivered pre-detonated fissionable device to an enemy nation in a time of war. Nice, clean, and easy!

Do I even have to say why this one is just plain insulting?

Racism by ~mastadeath on deviantART

The whole thing is a disaster. The Board votes this week, and there’s no sign that anything has changed since the other articles I posted. Not that I thought the articles were going to create a revolution, but it’s nice to imagine.

And, Arizona, if you’re trying to beat my humble state in the Crazy Olympics, I’d say we’re tied now. Your move, Grand Canyon State…

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