June 8, 2010
Hello, Randomologists! Welcome to another exciting episode of Divine by Zero, the only tri-weekly internet feature that gives you news with my biting social commentary!
Oh, who am I kidding?
- If you thought government lobbysist had no shame, you are right, especially when they petition Congress for the right to nudity. A group called the American Association for Nude Recreation will be lobbying this week to combat internet filters that could affect nudist websites. My only question is… will they be petitioning in the nude? I’ve worked in those buildings, and even though staff members could wear jeans when Congress was out of session, I’m going to assume the dress code is a bit stricter than that.
- Mike Krahulik, better known as “Gabe” of Penny Arcade, drew a nifty little Star Wars-themed political cartoon. I don’t mean a political cartoon that used Star Wars. I mean a political cartoon from the Star Wars Universe.
- I’m a staunch meat-eater, so when I heard that a lab in the University of Missouri had developed a soy-based chicken meat that tastes and feels like the real thing, I was skeptical. However, if it’s as realistic as it looks and is described here, I might try it.
- Self-defense is very important, but if you feel you need a knife that freezes your organs from the inside out, you need to just carry a gun. I’d rather get shot than have my spleen turned to ice inside my body, thank you. Ouch.
- And speaking of self-defense, any good father would upon hearing his daughter had received a naughty image of a fellow classmate’s genitals do the right thing. By “right thing,” I mean lure the guy to your house, tie him, threaten him with firearms, then taser him.
- A new study reported on CNN shows that children with two lesbian mothers are actually better emotionally adjusted than children of the traditional Adam and Eve variety.
- Destroying the stereotype that nerds get better grades because they’re loners, another study has shown that the number of friends students have is proportional to their grades. I’m calling “crap” on this one. If friends give you better grades, I know some people on Facebook who should have been valedictorians.
- Could somebody explain why I never found out Sean Hannity has a dating website named “Hannidate”?! I’m tempted to just make a profile to see what bites. Of course, I might need a shot afterwards.
- Anyone who thinks government has too many employees has never worked IN government. Just to give you an idea of how many people it takes to really get a bill together, check out this graphic. Also, I should mention that legislative staffers are highly under-appreciated.
- Finally, Iceland got a bad rep with that whole “volcano that disrupted air traffic for half the world” thing, but they have a sweet little promo they hope will turn others back to Iceland. Check it out!
That’s it! Link and share. Tune in tomorrow when we’ll find out how to turn paranoia into a career!