War on Christmas Salvo 3 UPDATE: O’Reilly Made Jesus His Whore

And the winner, and still champion, JESUUUUUUUS OF NAAAAAAZAREEEEEETH!

December 22, 2010

O’Reilly answered us!

And by “us” I mean Olbermann, Colbert, The Young Turks, and all of us who called him the self-centered hypocrite that that he is for trying to use the teachings of Jesus as an excuse to not tax the rich. It seems that my early Christmas present was a rebuttal with all the eloquence and intelligence of a five-year old trying to squirm out of getting caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Just to refresh your memory, O’Reilly wrote an article in which he used Christian teaching as a justification for not helping the poor. In his mind, if you cannot help yourself, you do not deserve help, which as I and others showed, is a complete reversal of what Jesus actually said.

And what did Bill “My Audience is so Old It Doesn’t Know About Youtube” O’Reilly say?

Before we get to the meat, a word of the Founding Fathers.

It’s disrespectful to bring up the fact that Benjamin Franklin liked the ladies? Sure, Colbert’s joke that Franklin uttered the phrase “The Lord helps those who help themselves” between “mouthfuls of French whore” may sound disrespectful, but only really if you think sex is a bad thing. I think most of my readers will agree that the fact that Franklin was not only a great inventor, statesman, a Founding Father, and quite the ladies’ man makes him a model to strive for.

Anyway, on to Bill-O’s rebuttal.


Super Jesus by ~M-Thirteen on deviantART

Bill refers to the Parable of the Talents, a story Jesus told in which a man gives three servants some money. Two invest the money and pay it back with interest while the third hid it away. The third servant is then chastised and cast out.

I remember hearing this story as a child. It’s in Matthew 25:14-30. As it was explained to me, the parable refers not to money, but to the gospel of Christ. Don’t keep it for yourself, I was told. Spread the word and multiply it. Use it. Don’t hold it in. In fact, if you’ve ever heard the song, “This Little Light of Mine,” you get the idea. It’s a call to ministry.

Bill, it seems, has never heard of a metaphor. In fact, the idea that the money in the story is a symbol, as most things in parables are usually interpreted, is not even considered.

Then Bill goes and does something really weird. He says that charity is a cornerstone of Christian teaching and then says that Mother Teresa is a perfect example of saintly behavior while instantly saying that we should not do what she did because it’s inconvenient. You know, I agree with him. I’m not so selfless that I would drop everything to go help people on the other side of the world. But then… I’m not Mother Teresa.


carry your cross by ~JmPhotography09 on deviantART

It gets weirder as Bill equates “rich people” with “responsible people” and the poor and unemployed with “irresponsible people.” Tell me, just how irresponsible is it to not have a job despite months of looking? How irresponsible is it to look for government aid such as food stamps to keep food on the table? Is it irresponsible to accept government loans and grants to go to college when you don’t have the means?

Bill, though, takes it a step further by saying we have no responsibility to pay for other people’s gin and cocaine, somehow assuming that’s what people do with food stamps and government aid.

Now that’s just sick and low.

First off, being rich doesn’t make you responsible. It makes you rich. It doesn’t make you some financial expert, and it doesn’t mean you create jobs. It just means you get paid a lot, and if the clowns at Fox are any indication, brains and common sense are not needed to rake in millions each year.

Kind of makes me want to write a book at Tea Baggers just to make money from them.


Wrapped in the Flag… by ~YNot1989 on deviantART

Look, Bill didn’t actually address the points I and many others bashed him for. He just repeated them with the same conviction. And no, Bill, Jesus wouldn’t agree with you.

He would jump down from the cross, break off a piece, and slap you with it until the seventh angel blew his trumpet.

If you want to make an argument for not taxing the rich, stop using Jesus like Republican Senators and members of Congress use 9/11. It’s like a freaking security blanket. Just say you want people to do things your way because you’re a self-centered prick with no concept of how the world works. Admit that you’ve taken Jesus and made him your five-dollar whore. At least be honest with your self-centeredness. Don’t pass the blame to a guy you believe died so you could get into heaven.

It’s one thing to be a bastard. Don’t be a lying bastard on top of that. Remember, Bill, Jesus loves you, but he doesn’t have to like you.

No links today. However, look for a special Christmas story from Via Rosa this Friday. See you then, and I hope everyone had a happy Solstice!


Christmas Time in Mexico by *KeeperOfLight on deviantART

2 Replies to “War on Christmas Salvo 3 UPDATE: O’Reilly Made Jesus His Whore”

  1. Bill, along with many others on television are part of a program called project “Mockingbird”. They use a lot of Counter Intelligence to keep the public in the dark or pit us against each other. They use fear a lot, that’s obvious with people like O’Reilly. It’s always left against right with these “Talking Heads” for the state. I appreciate people such as yourself that point out how insane they are, O’Reilly being one of the more obvious examples. We must inform the public. They feel helpless so we should empower them with truth and valid information. I would like to read more. A friend of mine showed your site to me by the way.

    David Kelly

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