Salsa Karma

My insides melted.
My insides melted.

March 18, 2013

So… Spring Break was a lot of fun. Mary and I went to Fredericksburg and spent two days walking through town, going to Enchanted Rock, and generally enjoying the sights, sounds, and of course the awesome beer of the small Texas town. Seriously. If you love food and booze, put Fredericksburg on your to-do list.

On the other hand, karma’s a bitch.

There’s a store in town called Rustlin’ Rob’s, a mecca for anyone who loves flavor. While they have the basic pickled garlic, jams, and salsas, you can also find everything from margarita jelly, to raspberry chipotle salsa, to home-made fudge. And every day brings hundreds of sample stations so you can try virtually anything on the shelves. It was near the top of things I wanted to do.

And then Mary and I got an idea.

Ghost Pepper by ~GhostPepperArt on deviantART

One of the items sold at Rustlin’ Rob’s is ghost pepper salsa. For those who don’t know, eating a ghost pepper is a bit like dropping napalm in your mouth. The sensation is akin to running a belt sander over your tongue. While the belt sander is on fire. And you have jumper cables attached to your throat.

Suffice to say, it’s not a pretty experience. Mary and I came up with the bright idea of buying a can of said salsa and using it in our weekly games. The rule would be that if you rolled a natural 1, you had to take a spoonful of the salsa. It seemed safe enough…

And then we gamed twice this week and only Mary and I rolled 1’s. No one else did.

Think about this for a moment. There are five players. They all rolled throughout the night. Skills, attacks, everything. They rolled ALL NIGHT. For two nights. And not one of them had to try the salsa.

Mary and I had two spoonfuls each.

My world was pain. Karma sucks. Welcome back from the break, folks. Just thought I’d share.

Keep an eye out for tomorrow’s video, too. In the meantime, please enjoy someone arguing against gay sex and marriage while also (unknowingly) arguing against oral sex.

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