Learning How to Spell: Can’t Stop

My dreams get weirder the more stressed I become.
My dreams get weirder the more stressed I become.

June 3, 2013

My dreams tend to be kind of weird, especially, when I’m stressed about work. Twice now, I’ve been working on something and wondered if I should really do it. The last time, Neil Gaiman, or rather a dream projection of him, told me to enjoy what I do.

Last night, the Red Hot Chili Peppers gave me some advice.

I’ve loved the Chili Peppers since I first heard the Californication album. In fact, their sound and general attitude have been a huge influence on my own writing. The dream, though, started off gray.

I walked down a street. It was full, and I’m more than sure it was in Laredo, too. Everything looked gray, not black and white, but certainly washed out. As I approached a bar on my right, someone pulled me and said, “Hey, are you going to come to watch the Chili Peppers?”

Since the Chili Peppers are one of my favorite bands, I of course rushed in. It was a small bar, too, maybe a dozen tables spread out over a long floor. The bar was surrounded with red Christmas lights and upbeat music. Anthony Kiedis was actually tending bar as Chad Smith talked with people at the tables and Flea served drinks. John Frusciante played the guitar on the stage, no song in particular, just strummed along with the music.

Everything seemed too surreal. I felt like I was in a dream, but didn’t realize I really was in a dream.

Kiedis served me a drink but declined one himself. Smith went behind the bar. The band never actually played throughout the entire dream, but it felt like I was getting to just know them.

Flea then said something strange.

“It’s hard to tell your story,” he said.

I thought about it. I thought about the book I’m just waiting to get back from my editors. I’m ready, just itching, to put the finishing touches on this thing, but I’m also nervous.

What if it doesn’t sell? What if it does? What if people hate it? What if they love it?

It’s enough to paralyze someone. Too afraid to keep going, too scared to even start.

Kiedis then said, “Who cares what they think? People will love it if they love it. It’s you. Just tell your story.”

And then I woke up.

Fear is a powerful emotion. It’s the first and last thing you can feel when trying to do something. I’m afraid right now. The trick is to not let that fear be the deciding factor in anything. I learned that part a long time ago. Emotions are powerful, but actions trump them every time. Acting in spite of fear destroys it. Showing your love grows it. Enduring pain lessens it.

All I have to do now is close my eyes, take a breath, and jump.

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