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Jun 302011
 

June 30, 2011

Holy crap! A new Divine by Zero? Really?

Yeah. See, time’s going to get really tight in the next few weeks, and I have to be a lot more conscious of the time I have to write. I’m going to start teaching a middle school writing course over the next few weeks, so there goes a lot of my time. Combined with moving and a lot of other things, and I get maybe an hour a day to do these posts, so these Divine by Zero articles will be the place to go for the weird and the things I just don’t have the time to write about in the regular articles.

Let’s get started with today’s batch.

  • What would happen if the Beatles got signed today? The results are… terrifying.
  • Chihuahuas are the tiny snacks of the animal kingdom. They’re uppity and serve no purposes… until I saw this little guy working as a sheep dog. A chihuahua sheep dog. let that sink in for a moment.
  • And yes, I know that was a meme within a meme about memes. Let’s pay homage to the original guy, shall we?
  • If you watch science fiction or horror in any way shape or form, you’ve probably seen Brian Thompson. You may not know his name, but you’ve seen him. He’s one of those guys you just know from his voice, and aside from starring in a lot of cheesy movies (Mortal Kombat sequel, anyone?) he has a lot more going for him. Check out the last paragraph in this bio.
  • If anybody out there reads Japanese, could they please tell me the context of this nifty little English phrase in this book? I have a feeling that knowing the answer may be worse than not knowing, but I’m willing to give it a shot.
  • On the other hand, Pat Robertson was not amused. he goes on an warn us about raping angels and that no civilization that has accepted homosexuality has survived. Well, NO civilization has survived intact.
  • And finally, this is for the gaming geeks out there. I always had a problem with the whole concept of “the chainmail bikini,” not only because it objectified women and made it hard to invite girls to games, but because in a world of dragons and magic, I actually found THAT to be the least believable thing in the world. That being said, how would you average adventuring female react to actually having to wear this? And who thought it would be a good idea?

Jan 072011
 
 January 7, 2011  Posted by at 9:15 pm January Tagged with: , , , , , , ,  No Responses »

I hear He also makes a great quiche.

January 7, 2010

This… this is why we need better teachers and schools. We can debate. Yes, we can. I may have an opinion vastly different from yours, but I’m willing to listen to your side of the argument, and, if you present good evidence, I’ll probably change my mind.

I’m sure that Bill O’Reilly has a bet with Beck to see who can break the most logical fallacies in one segment. Behold. The entire “Is God real?” question is about to be solved by O’Reilly at the 1:51 mark. Be prepared to be amazed.

Did you catch all that? God is real because the tides go in and out all the time, without fail, and we can’t explain it.

God is real because we have tides and we can’t explain it.

God exists because the water rises and falls and no one knows why.

I’m tempted to write it one more time just to hear how stupid that sounds. Yes, we know why the tide works, and if Bill here spent more time in science class as opposed to reading on why it’s wrong to be charitable, he’d know it’s because of the gravitational pull of the sun and moon. We’ve known this for, I don’t know. A long time? A really long time? This is basic science you learn in middle school and just because Bill doesn’t get it, he thinks God is the only explanation?


Creationism Cartooned by ~Vampiraldi on deviantART

I spend a few classes in my writing courses going over logical fallacies with my students, so let me break this down in case you don’t know exactly why that statement actually makes your neurons die as you hear it.

If something is not explainable, that doesn’t mean that one explanation has to be right. For example, if a man is killed in his home and we don’t know who did it, we don’t assume it’s the neighbor just because we don’t like the neighbor. Likewise, if you are Christian, you can’t assume, “God did it,” just because you don’t understand something.

We could go on forever. I say gravity causes the tide, and Bill could say, “But where does gravity come from?”

Gravity comes from mass, Bill. Current models say that mass bends space-time, sort of how a bowling ball would warp a trampoline.

“But why does it do that? Why not bend up? This is proof of design!”


Teach the Controversy by !Ex-Leper on deviantART

And right there is where we get into intelligent design, which is really what Bill-O is getting to. No, we don’t understand every mechanism in the universe. No, we don’t fully comprehend matter at the quantum level. No, we cannot account for the existence of sentience or explain what we would call human life as it exists…

But guess what? To say, “God did it,” makes as much sense as saying, “We live in a simulation within a giant computer,” or “The universe exists because Tork, the space bunny, demands it.”

Look, science is not your enemy. Yes, science changes its mind, but that’s because new information becomes available. Science DESCRIBES. That is it. When we see more of the tapestry of creation, we need to describe it was well, and it may show that what we knew previously is not as accurate as we described it. But that’s the nature of science. We get a more and more accurate picture each time.

Just because you can’t understand the explanation, it does not make it supernatural. Simply because you can’t grasp size and astronomy, it does not make the asteroid belt “God’s potato bar.”


God Hands by ~neier on deviantART

Let’s forge ahead with some links, shall we?

  • Speaking of science gone wrong, it turns out that SHOCK! Vaccines do not cause autism. The report many have been using as proof was fraudulent. Go figure…
  • The Tea Party made a big deal out of going back to the Constitution… as if we somehow forgot about it. But, lo and behold, when the Tea Party-owned Republican Party read the Constitution aloud in the new session of Congress in a costly publicity stunt… they left out certain parts. As in the three-fourths compromise. As in a section of the Constitution that shows that, while a mighty document, it is not perfect and can be made better. As in evidence that destroys their conservative arguments.
  • Have you ever been so excited you forgot was was going on around you? Well, so did this kid, but at least he bounces.
  • Id’ never thought of totally redesigning the keyboard for a new generation of technology like hand-held devices, but it looks like someone’s  taken a crack at it.
  • Ashton Kutcher apparently gets not just Demi Moore… but women Moore brings home for the two of them. Bruce Willis must want to kill the little punk.
  • And finally, in what I can only describe as extreme parenting, watch what happens when a kid makes claims of being a thug and a gangster online and is caught by his uncle. Someone give that man a trophy! See you Monday, and don’t forget to link back!

Jun 052010
 

June 5, 2010

It’s once again time for Divine by Zero! A lot has happened in the last few days, but I do want to clue you in to some things that will be going on this summer.

I work as a writing tutor, and TAMIU’s English department has one assignment every year that brings me pause. Freshmen must write review essays on a movie and, without fail, a sizable percentage of the young women will write on Twilight or the latest Twilight movie. I take my job seriously and I wish I could help them, but without knowledge of the plot, I can’t tell them if their reviews are written correctly or if they’re contradicting themselves.

And so, with much hesitation… I will sit and watch these movies so I may be better at my job come September.

keifer sutherland
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Let me be clear here. I do this for two reasons.

One: The reviews will come in. Oh yes they will. It’s like the Leonids. You can time it.

Two: I know the plot to these books and movies, I know the characters, and I utterly loathe them. The excerpts I’ve seen make me weep for the English language. And if I’m going to continue to explain to people why these movies are a waste of DVD’s and not have them call me ignorant for never having seen them… I will do it. I will watch them. Just to tell them I watched them.

I’m scared.

Well, onward to link-land!

  • Anyone want to buy Bruce Willis vodka? Out of every celebrity I can think of, I can’t picture Willis even drinking vodka.

  • Guillermo del Toro, as some have heard, will not be directing The Hobbit. I really wanted him to do it, but io9 has a wonderful article on why this is a good thing. Can’t say I share their fears, but it does provide some comfort.
  • Lobbyists in Texas are signing up in throves to get concealed gun licenses. Why? Beefed-up security at the state capitol means longer lines as tourists are searched before entering the building. However, if you have a concealed gun license, you can bypass that line and just enter. Does anyone else see a HUGE problem with this? People with guns are allowed to walk into a federal building. And yes, you can carry just the license OR the license and gun.
  • Online MBA did some digging and found out just how much the world loves its porn. Check it out:

The Stats on Internet Pornography
Via: Online MBA

  • Advertising already bombards us with images and sounds, and there’s only so much they can do to make us buy their products… so how about a billboard that sells and SMELLS like steak?
  • Rue McLanahan passed away a few days ago, and that means we’re down to one Golden Girl. I really like the show, ever since my mom was watching it years ago and I stopped long enough to hear these ladies banter like pros. In memoriam, here are some quotes from the character that gave half the senior citizens in this country dreams of Viagra.
  • All those energy drinks out just met their Bizarro world counterparts: anti-energy drinks. Though their sales are a fraction of the energy drink market, these concoctions with names like iChill and RelaxZenm are raising eyebrows at the FDA. One drink, Drank, contains 20 times the body’s natural melatonin, a hormone.
  • Someone has captured the pure emotion of the internet. If you have three weeks to kill with pointless clicking, head over to MOST AWESOMEST THING EVER. You get two things, such as naps and Jell-O, and must decide which is more awesome. Your vote adds a point to that item. Battles are random and the current most awesomest things according to the internet are Life, the Internet, Oxygen, and Music. Make your mark!
  • If you’re in the mood to read some really stupid things, take a few minutes to look through Fundies Say the Darnest Things, a collection of the most stupid, transparently racist, and downright idiotic forum posts I’ve ever seen. You’ll feel as if you’re five times smarter just by reading what these idiots think passes for reality. For example:

Quote# 34539

What’s going to happen when humans are successful [with human cloning]. Will cloned humans have spirits? If they don’t, could demons enter them? With no human spirit to contend with in a genetically perfect body, what havoc could these beings wreak on the world? And how would they be stopped?

Quote# 42943

What about fruits and vegetables? Did they just pop into existence on their own as well because the “god of evolution” knew that we would need? nutricious foods to eat?

Quote# 1450

I forgot you assume a lack of an answer [is] not knowing.

  • And finally, to usher in the weekend, here’s “Money” by Pink Floyd performed by 8-bit sounds. Enjoy!