Nov 022011
 

Or IS he?!

November 2, 2011

Why is Halloween so much fun?

If you’re a kid, you get free candy and get to dress up and essentially play all day and night. You get to watch horror movies and act out in the darkest way possible without getting arrested (for the most part).

But as an adult?

I’m going to warn you right now. I’m about to get all philosophical up in this post.

At some point, we stopped enjoying life. We go to work, cash a paycheck, and go about our routine. We’ll watch a television show or learn a hobby to pass the time, but we seem to have lost the spark of being able to play and enjoy life. This has to do with work and time as much as anything, and it’s not like we couldn’t make an extra hour in the day if we really wanted it. It’s just inconvenient. We work and act professional, and for most people this “professionalism” bleeds over into everyday life.

We become the suit we wear. The formality becomes normal.

And then Halloween comes around and we can wear a mask or a costume that, ironically, usually tells us more about us than anything else. Mary wanted to dress up like a bloody clown because she likes to creep people out. I dressed up like a calaca because I enjoy the mythology and symbolism of Dia de los Muertos.


+ Halloween+ by ~OMiyukixO on deviantART

It’s odd, but a lot of people get to be themselves more on Halloween than any other day. They let loose. It’s like they’re drunk without the hassle of drinking. There’s a general feeling that you can do anything on Halloween and it doesn’t count, so you get to see who is reserved, who is really a freak, and who likes to show off.

Maybe I’m over-analyzing it, but I think more adults need to just loosen up and have fun. Do something childish. My dad is a consummate professional in everything he does, but get him to a car museum and he turns into a little boy in a candy shop. I’m almost thirty and I work as an educator and freelance writer, but yesterday, my fiancée and I watched Tom and Jerry yesterday for a good hour.

Grow old. Just don’t grow up too much.


halloween yin by *Apofiss on deviantART

And now, to make up for the lack of articles in the last two weeks, here are some links made of awesome. Enjoy!

  • However, the best costume has to be Princess Vader. It’s so cute and epic it’s on a level on its own.
  • Here are some other epic costumes that also deserve honorable mention.
  • The airwaves are full of scary things. Like Jersey Shore. These broadcasts, however, are much scarier for other reasons.
  • I loved watching the Treehouse of Horror specials, but they seem to have gotten kind of lame lately. When I read this ranking, I was glad I wasn’t the only one who thought so.
  • I said everyone needs to calm down and just have fun with Halloween. It seems even Planned Parenthood got in on it. They released a very important memo about the dangers of vampire sex. And yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like.
  • You think Halloween is creepy and scary movies are gory and unnerving? Try Halloween a hundred years ago. The costumes back then were pure, unleaded nightmare fuel.
  • These guys pulled the perfect prank. It’s creepy, unnerving, they caught it on tape, and they managed to not break any laws. Behold the horror of Timmy!
  • And finally, let’s get over Hump Day with a little metal. And Halloween. Halloween metal!

Jul 212011
 

July 21, 2011

The voting is coming along nicely both here and on Facebook! keep going, guys. And when you’re done, please help yourself to a link or two. They’re on me.

I know, I know. I spoil you guys.

  • And speaking of things that are fun and bring us joy, every time a new harry Potter movie or book comes out, without fail, we get the psychos. Pat Robertson is already out in full force, but this gentleman takes the cake. Yeah, he’s a comedian, but the scary thing is that I’ve heard people who talk like him.
  • Rick Perry, possible GOP presidential candidate, started out as a Democrat. Hey, it IS Texas. He probably switched because they use liberals for target practice down here.
  • The Amazing Spider-Man is coming out next year, and we’ve already been treated to a blurry teaser filmed in a movie studio. That doesn’t mean we can’t look back on the old cartoon and guess at the kinds of things we can expect from a darker take on our favorite web-slinger.
  • Speaking of airheads, here’s Palin TRYING to look sexy. The result is akin to a mildly retarded beagle thinking it’s a ballerina.
  • And on the heels of the last article, Jon Stewart addresses Fox’s handling of the hacking scandal. See you Friday, folks, and keep voting!
Apr 012011
 

Just wait until they get the Tea Bagging Ninja Squad up and running.

April 1, 2011

Yes, it’s April 1, but this is not an April Fool’s joke. The Republican Party really is trying to kill off American citizens. Don’t believe me? I’m not going to weave some elaborate conspiracy theory. I really doubt these events are part of some mass plan, but they are steps taken by this political party that will all have the same effect.

We are all going to die.

Single Parents

Representative Michelle “I Don’t Know What State I’m In” Bachmann wants to tax single mothers more. Or give breaks to married mothers. We’re still unclear on the specifics. The point is that single parents, a demographic that is already hurting in the current economy, will have more money taken out of their pockets because of life choices.

Whatever happened to Republicans wanting to get the government out of our lives? Look, divorce can be messy and traumatic for families, but why should these families get taxed and hurt more? Bachmann said she wants to encourage family formation, but given her record on gay issues, I’m going to assume these tax breaks would only apply to heterosexual couples.

Getting a doctor, food, rent, and gas is already a pinch. Why deprive single families of more money?


Double Duty by ~Yellowsticus on deviantART

Workers

The fight to help protect people through things like safety regulations has taken more than a hundred years. The Triangle Fire really opened up people’s eyes to the hazards and slavery-like mentality of employers at the turn of the century. One would think that things like asbestos regulations and the inclusion of fire-sprinklers would be a good thing, right?

Apparently, all these “safety” regulations are just getting in the way of business.

It’s funny, but when the GOP talks about small business, business, and the economy, what they really mean is “business owners.” Screw the workers. In Maine, the governor wants to take down a mural that celebrates the history of labor because he said he was told it was hostile to business. Where is this offensive piece of art?

The Maine Department of Labor.

So remember, folks, screw the workers. As long as SOMEONE gets paid, it’s okay, right?


Chanting for the Nation by ~leavenotrase on deviantART

The Poor

If you need food stamps, the GOP has the perfect way to get them. No, it doesn’t involve showing a need for basic necessities like food.

First, get a job.

No, really. That’s their plan. If you want food because you don’t have a job, first get a job. It’s amazing that these idiots don’t realize that it’s not that people aren’t looking for jobs. It’s that there ARE NO jobs.

Not harsh enough? Well, if you do have a job and are getting government aid, you better not go on strike. If you strike, they’ll pull your welfare. Now get to work!

Really, though, GOP is doing everything possible to flush money down the toilet in the name of protecting us from scary government intervention. The truth, though, is that the GOP is really concerned with government intrusion, but only in the sense that they want to be the ones who do it.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

So there you have it. Republicans want to starve, suffocate, and otherwise kill you.

Oh, and in Montana, one of them wants to repeal DIU laws because they hurt small business. I wish this were all a joke.

And now, to get some happy back into your life, the links!

  • And some animals don’t know how to fight and would be eaten in the wild. That is all for this week. Thanks for reading, keep sharing links, and I’ll see you Monday.

Mar 092011
 

It's offensive because brown people do it.

March 9, 2011

Ann Coulter may laugh when someone brings up racism since she believes racism no longer exists. It’s possible to say that we’ve cleared away a lot of the old racism, but racism is still here. Yes, we elected a black president, but that gets rid of racism much like going to college means you develop common sense.

It just doesn’t happen.

The wave of Islamophobia moving across the country, everything from the Park51 project, to the vandalized mosques across the country, and even to the new “high birther” comments from Mike “Selective Outrage” Huckabee, show that racism is alive and well. We once targeted Catholics, the Irish, and Jews, and blamed the country’s problems on minority groups with little to no representation or way to get their message out.

And if you think Islamophobia is just a legitimate concern over real terrorism, then please explain this video.

In case you skipped it, we now have video of two state representatives saying, among other things, that they would be willing to let Muslims go to paradise by force (do I have to spell it out) and that they were proud of the protestors.

Yes, I can see how you would be proud of protestors heckling and shouting insults at women and children a worthy cause.

Women and children… This was a fundraiser to build a women’s shelter and help the poor. Now, granted, one of the speakers was linked to the 1993 WTC bombings and has some anti-Semitic viewpoints, but does that taint the entire group?

I know Mexicans who would love to invade Texas. Does that make me dangerous radical because I too hail from the land of tequila?


Mexican Death by ~AidaDisguise on deviantART

Of course not. My anarcho-humanist tendencies and the fact that I know how to build an A-bomb with smoke detectors is what makes me dangerous.

And for the twelve federal agencies monitoring internet content, that last line was a joke.

Watch that video again. Multiculturalism is bad. Islam is bad. Muslims all support terrorism. Muslim men beat their wives. Muslims are pedophiles. Death is the only solution.

This is the mentality of the Far Right, but it’s only because the Far Right doesn’t mind being exposed. It doesn’t care what others think of it. There are people who espouse similar beliefs and cloak them under the guise of academics and logic.

Representative King’s congressional inquiries into the Muslim community are one such case of “high class” racism. It’s the same old, bigoted arguments in a new cloak. Make no mistake. These are two sides of the same coin.

Racism is alive and well. It just got a new suit and got elected on the Tea Party ticket.


Racism .. by ~HAZEMSHEHAB on deviantART

Let’s get some links to wash the taste of dumbass out of your mouth.

Nov 122010
 

Editor’s Note: This will be the third time Time Warner drops my internet after I PAID them. I’ll insert links and images later when I don’t have to upload this at the university, but for now, enjoy a block of text.

November 12, 2010

It’s important to know who you’re dealing with, so it’s time we had a chat.

This fiasco with Olbermann got me thinking about some things. He got suspended because he made donations to political candidates, something you apparently have to ask to do first and then get permission at NBC. This comes only a few weeks after Fox made donations worth almost $2 million dollars to several Republican organizations while hosting Republican candidates and using airtime help Republicans raise funds.

So just in case anyone is wondering where I stand on the issues, and so there will be no misunderstanding later, this is my confession to you.

I believe that while religion can bring hope and comfort, it can also be easily turned into a cudgel to beat someone or a knife to discreetly destroy lives. Like George Carlin once said, religion is like a pair of shoes. If your shoes let you walk and get through the world, that’s fine, but don’t think your shoes will fit me.

I believe Disney is a business, pure and simple, and has no interest in the well-being of children. Also, the last good movie they made was The Lion King.

I believe cartoons were better before Nickelodeon’s major star became a talking sponge. Bring back the Chihuahua, the cat, the wallaby, and the babies.

I believe science and logic and reason are some of the greatest tools humanity ever developed. Although some refuse to acknowledge this information and still believe the Earth is a mere six thousand years old, the truth is there. No one had to fight against Zeus worshipers. People just realized that lightning was not the work of angry gods.

I believe cherry pie beats apple pie hands down.

I believe physical books are better than ebooks or any digital format.

I think vegetarians who don’t eat meat just because they want to make some sort of statement, not for health or religious reasons, are insulting to people who do not have the luxury of choosing what to eat, or if they CAN eat.

I believe chalkboards are better than dry erase boards. If you’re not willing to get your hands dirty when you teach, you’re not teaching. You’re babysitting.

I believe art is at the same time the most important and hardest to define endeavor anyone can undertake. Art in many forms helps us understand the world, ourselves, but how we go about it, or if it works or is even art, is sure to baffle us for the rest of human history.

I believe government has the duty to protect the people. This includes a well-funded military and departments to wisely spend the funds gathered from our taxes. I hate paying taxes, but I like having paved roads and knowing the fish I consume won’t kill me. I like knowing the medicine I buy has been thoroughly tested to make sure it complies with certain standards? Why?

Because I also believe that while capitalism is one of the best ways for each person to make use of his or her potential, its sole goal of making money means there is no incentive to be humane or rational about employees or customers. How do I know this? Because unregulated markets and businesses cost us our economy, the Gulf, and have made a mockery of our health care system.

I believe Kirk could kick Picard’s ass, but Patrick Stewart would wipe the floor with Shatner.

I really can believe it’s butter.

I believe that if a foreign movie is good, we should see the foreign movie, not remake it. Get over the fact that it will require subtitles and watch it.

I believe choosing between Republicans and Democrats is choosing between the heartless and the spineless, and both choices are brainless.

I believe politics is the art of making people give you a job for a few more years so you can convince them to give you a job for a few more years.

I believe education should make children capable of thinking for themselves, not just fill their heads with facts. Education is about making them productive members of society, and filling their heads with lies and cookie-cutter answers is evil.

Most importantly, I believe the moment you express an opinion without being prompted, the instant you throw your hat into the ring, you are a free target for criticism. You have put yourself, willingly, into the arena of free speech. You are game. If you can’t articulate your opinion, defend it, or don’t want others questioning what you believe, don’t speak.

So that’s where I stand. You?

Jun 082010
 

June 8, 2010

Hello, Randomologists! Welcome to another exciting episode of Divine by Zero, the only tri-weekly internet feature that gives you news with my biting social commentary!

Oh, who am I kidding?

Link time!

  • If you thought government lobbysist had no shame, you are right, especially when they petition Congress for the right to nudity. A group called the American Association for Nude Recreation will be lobbying this week to combat internet filters that could affect nudist websites. My only question is… will they be petitioning in the nude? I’ve worked in those buildings, and even though staff members could wear jeans when Congress was out of session, I’m going to assume the dress code is a bit stricter than that.
  • I’m a staunch meat-eater, so when I heard that a lab in the University of Missouri had developed a soy-based chicken meat that tastes and feels like the real thing, I was skeptical. However, if it’s as realistic as it looks and is described here, I might try it.

  • And speaking of self-defense, any good father would upon hearing his daughter had received a naughty image of a fellow classmate’s genitals do the right thing. By “right thing,” I mean lure the guy to your house, tie him, threaten him with firearms, then taser him.
  • A new study reported on CNN shows that children with two lesbian mothers are actually better emotionally adjusted than children of the traditional Adam and Eve variety.
  • Could somebody explain why I never found out Sean Hannity has a dating website named “Hannidate”?! I’m tempted to just make a profile to see what bites. Of course, I might need a shot afterwards.
  • Anyone who thinks government has too many employees has never worked IN government. Just to give you an idea of how many people it takes to really get a bill together, check out this graphic. Also, I should mention that legislative staffers are highly under-appreciated.
  • Finally, Iceland got a bad rep with that whole “volcano that disrupted air traffic for half the world” thing, but they have a sweet little promo they hope will turn others back to Iceland. Check it out!

Inspired by Iceland Video from Inspired By Iceland on Vimeo.

That’s it! Link and share. Tune in tomorrow when we’ll find out how to turn paranoia into a career!