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Jan 242013
 
 January 24, 2013  Posted by at 5:20 pm Gaming, January Tagged with: , , , , , , , ,  No Responses »
The machine sings to me...

The machine sings to me…

January 24, 2013

Music and gaming go hand in hand like peanut butter and chocolate. Or peanut butter and apples. Or peanut butter and chicken. If mixed into a sauce.

For our Shadowrun games, though, I had a problem. I’ve got plenty of fantasy soundtracks and atmospheric music for a Medieval Eurpean-style world, even music from other parts of the world like the Middle East. Shadowrun, though, presented a problem. The 4th Edition anniversary handbook had a lot to say about music in the Sixth World.

While traditional acoustic instruments still exist, these are relegated to niche markets. Most music may still use electric instruments or their acoustic counterparts, but the majority of music is composed mentally through cyberlinks. Genres such as goblin rock, synthrash, and neo-classical are commonplace. How would I replicate this using music from 2013?

First thing’s first.

I created five playlist requirements. Firstly, I needed ambient music to simply have on at any point in the game. Secondly, I needed three distinct genre playlists for clubs or neighborhoods. Finally, I needed music to play while a battle raged on.


Music II by ~me-are-cus on deviantART

The background music was fairly simple. I wanted synthetic sounds, but I also wanted a mix of actual instruments. Bear McCreary’s soundtrack for Battlestar Galactica provided tracks like “The Card Game” and “The Cylon Prisoner,” slightly off-kilter music that was still mellow enough to just play in the background. A few tracks from the 24 soundtrack like “Jack on the Move” and “LA at 9am” gave some synthetics and percussion. Once I knew the kind of sound I wanted, I added a few tracks from Bryan Tyler and Marco Beltrami. It may have only been 20 minutes worth of music, but the final listing is slow enough to just set the mood and odd enough to sound otherworldly. Plus, it can loop without being obvious.

The next three playlists would be more difficult.

First, I wanted a club mix. The easiest thing would have been to just look for some popular dance mixes and use those, but I wanted something that was more than just repetitive “umphts” over and over again. I wanted lyrics if possible. I wanted a combination of sounds to showcase the wild spectrum of music in the Sixth World. The Appleseed soundtrack had a few entries such as “Anthem”, as did the Animatrix soundtrack with songs like “Martenot Waves” and “Big Wednesday.” I chose them because there was actual texture to the music. I rounded the whole thing off with some Velvet Acid Christ since, let’s face it, heavily electronic music that resembles white noise will probably be very popular in this world.


music II by ~asmo0o on deviantART

The rock playlist was easier since it’s my favorite genre. I wanted rock music with a little bit of electronic, maybe some traditional instruments thrown in to represent the fusion of genres in Shadowrun. I started with a little Deftones, Filter, and Celldweller. Songs like “Change (In the House of Flies),” “American Cliché,” “Symbiont” were slightly electronic, and industrial, which I thought went well with the setting. More traditional rock music like Stone Sour’s “Monolith” and a few bands from The Crow: City of Angels soundtrack gave me the kind of grungy sound I was looking for, too. I resisted the urge to put in a lot of hard rock or heavy metal because I didn’t want music that might just sound like white noise, unlike some of the club mix.

The hip-hop playlist was probably my favorite to put together even though I like rock more. Hip hop started out as a way to express urban problems through music, and if there’s one thing that exists in Shadowrun, it’s urban problems. I didn’t want Top 40 stuff, though. I wanted something that, like the other mixes, had texture and maybe even odd instrumentals. I started with Atmosphere’s “Say Hey There” and Fort Minor’s “Kenji” because of the down to earth feel I think is really missing from a lot of music. It’s both lyrical and musical. I added a few tracks by Tricky, including “Christiansands” and “Antihistamine,” for dark atmospheric.

For the fights, though, I could finally cut loose with the fast tracks. Techno, heavy metal, the works.

In the end, I ended up with music that was dark, slow, and brooding when it needed to be, but also fast and electronic. There were some Asian influences, certainly a mix of genres, and that’s really what I was looking for. So far, the music has helped set the mood and tone of the game, and the various mixes are long enough that I can swap them around and they haven’t looped yet.

That’s it for me this week. I’ve been taking care of my sick wife and work started properly this week, so I’m beat. Keep sharing the articles, follow me on Facebook for up-to-the-minute rants and links, and I’ll see you all around.

In the meantime, let’s watch and enjoy Gerard Butler doing what he should really stick to doing in film: kicking ass and taking names. Enough romantic comedies already!

Jan 302012
 

After Don't Ask, Don't Tell got repealed, many of the Empire's finest felt comfortable coming out.

January 30, 2012

A long time ago, in a Galaxy far, far away, Star Wars had more humane marriage laws than we do in modern America.

And the Right is not happy.

It seems that Star Wars: The Old Republic, the latest Star Wars video game, will allow players to enter into homosexual relationships as part of the plot. That’s great! In a modern world where many young people have embraced the idea of gay marriage and gay relationships, it makes sense to give that part of the fan base and population an opportunity to be themselves, even if it is in a world of turbolasers and lightsabers.

Of course, you know what this means?

Star Wars is going to make your kids gay. I know, I know. But now, to my eternal delight, someone has summoned the poor, innocent children. Won’t someone think of the children?!


Can I? by ~NoctisLiberi on deviantART

By the way, the group that is protesting this? It’s the same group that called for a boycott of Girl Scout Cookies. The Family Research Council really has a knack for going after things that are trying to help children or just provide entertainment. I love how they’ve got their tighty-whities in a knot over the possibility of kids seeing a digital gay couple that won’t be able to do anything besies announce its gay and they don’t bat an eyelid over the fact that, in a Star Wars game, starships filled with hundreds or even thousands of people get blown out of the sky on a regular basis. There’s also the little fact that you can have a high Dark Side score by committing questionable acts.

Like murder.

This is what I love about anyone spinning like a top over something like a gay character in a game somehow corrupting the youth. Said critics never seem to be worried about the MASS MURDER going on in video games. It might be the sci-fi aspect, and it’s not like people didn’t complain about killing and guns in games like Grand Theft Auto. But add sex to the equation?

It’s like yelling Frau Blücher. Somewhere, a horse is going to bray.


Star Wars Funnies: Han Solo by *kevinbolk on deviantART

We live in an interesting culture. We can show Starship Troopers on TV and no one bats an eyelid when humans get mangled and torn to bits. Have someone say a curse word or show a boob?

Heathens!

All I’m saying is…

Actually, I’m not saying anything. Let’s just point at the Family Research Council and laugh at them for wasting time trying to warn us of the gender-bending dangers of Star Wars.

And now, let’s watch a sleeping dormouse and start the week off with something cute.

Oct 052011
 

Show here? Brain power!

October 5, 2011

Even though the Weekly Muse kind of fell through (I plan on bringing it back, though), I used a similar exercise with my ESL students.

For example, after going over the week’s vocabulary and grammar lesson, I usually ask random students to use one of the new words in a sentence. For their test this week, though, I had them do something different. We practiced first, so don’t worry. They weren’t caught unprepared.

I gave them TWO vocabulary words and they had to use it, along with either an adjective, adverb, or preposition (my choice) in a SINGLE sentence. The words could be odd mixes like “bean” and “fur.” It was their job to make sense out of the ideas. Why would I do something so seemingly sadistic, you may add?

Ever seen Chopped? Chefs compete by making dishes with mystery ingredients. Usually, one of the ingredients is a bit… odd. They might be asked to make a desert with ingredients like corn flour, raspberries, and sardines, for example. Check out the following scene for a better idea of what they do.

In many ways, it’s harder than Iron Chef. In Iron Chef, yes, you have to come up with several dishes that feature one secret ingredient, but on Chopped, you have to combine multiple ingredients that oftentimes are not obviously connected. How the hell do you make a main dish when you’re given pork chops, bananas, cilantro, and a small puppy named Earl? A great chef, though, can find the commonality in the food and whip up something extraordinary.

Likewise, I want my students to stop thinking so mechanically. I want them to not only learn the words, but start using them in more than just simple sentences on one topic. Talking and using a language in casual speech is the best way to learn it. It’s the same reason I put such odd things like “Atlantis” and “Mexican restaurant” in the Weekly Muse polls: to encourage people to pick the strangest combinations they can think of. Finding connections between seemingly unrelated thoughts and ideas is what helps the brain think differently.

Take the famous “Sherlock scan” often used by… uhm, Sherlock Holmes.


Sherlock Holmes by *Hideyoshi on deviantART

All the clues are there. All the parts to put together a sentence, or a story, are present in the world. It’s just a matter of training yourself to find the links and put together something that didn’t exist before. Sherlock doesn’t notice anything out of the ordinary, though having a background in science and anatomy helps. Likewise, finding links between apparently different words, finding a sentence to use them in, forces my students to find those connections so new words get easier to integrate. They just need the grammatical rules to put their work together.

In essence, using dissimilar topics forces their brain to adapt faster and faster. A time limit for tests also helps.

Now go out and build those neural biceps!

And now, let’s flex those muscles by combining INTENTIONAL comedy with George Lucas’ meddling into our childhood dreams.

Jul 292011
 

This man's VOICE has had more three-ways than you've had one-ways. Just accept that you are a lesser man.

July 29, 2011

I mentioned the Battleship movie a few months back. Reports indicated Tom Arnold and Rihanna were going to star in the adaptation of the classic game. Well, Arnold is nowhere on the IMDB page, but Rihanna sure is. The trailer came out and I expected to see all the cheese of Snakes on a Plane and the cinematic potential of Meet the Deedles.

Are you ready for this?

…Crap.

Now I actually want to watch it. I’m willing to ignore the Transformers-like sound effects and alien sequences. I’m willing to forget that this is based on a board game that’s only slightly more complicated than tic-tac-toe. Why?

Liam Fraking Neeson.

Seriously. I don’t know why I hadn’t noticed that the man’s mere presence in a movie trailer make me want to watch it. How can we forget the earworm-like effect of this:

Before that, we had Neeson virtually act out an entire trailer by himself in Taken. The entire set-up is one of the most famous monologues and coldly-calculated threats I can recall hearing in a movie in some time. It’s chilling, efficient, and brutally honest. It breaks every rule of “show, don’t tell.” He basically tells us the entire set-up to the movie, its backstory, everything… AND IT WORKS.

Oh, and the rest of the movie’s pretty cool too.

Then we had him give the introduction to the highly-anticipated Batman Begins. His brief monologue oozes class.

But what is it about Neeson? It’s like he’s the sweet leaf basil of movie trailers. Adding a little to the mix can’t hurt. I’m convinced Liam Neeson can make ANY trailer better.

Just read the following and imagine Neeson saying it in a deep, mysterious voice like he does in Taken:

You, Paul Rodriguez, and you, Jimmy Falon, are the chosen ones. Without your strength and ability to make a kick-ass chicken enchilada, our world is doomed. If you do not act, the aliens will come here. They will find you. And they will make you watch Jersey Shore until you bleed out the ears.

Snooch to the nooch, motherfuckers. Peace out.

Now tell me you wouldn’t want to see that movie if you heard that in Liam Neeson’s voice. I swear the man could make Jersey Shore sound like a Shakespearean comedy if he tried.

See you Monday, and enjoy some video of idiots getting hurt. It’ll balance out all the awesomeness you just saw or else you’ll explode.

May 182011
 

A mind is a terrible thing to waste...

May 18, 2011

Addictions are a terrible thing. They can come from a bottle, a can, a pack of smokes, or a needle. Too many artists fall prey to the belief that mind-altering substances are the key to creativity. They may be crutches and distractions, but they are never the source. And yet, we’ve come a long way from the times of opium dens.

You see, I recently lost my fiancée to addiction. She was brave at first and assured me everything was okay, but in the end, the thirst for more drove her away.

I’ve barely seen her since my mother gave her a copy of Bejeweled 3.

Yes, Bejeweled 3.

Okay, I’m being curt. I spent two hours last week shooting birds from a slingshot at green pigs. I’ve been thinking about this, though. I haven’t played games on a regular basis since the Super Nintendo came out. I play once in a while when I visit my sister, and I played PC games that console since then. Lately, though, it seems as if we’ve taken a step back. We have some of the most advanced technology in history. We can literately create entire worlds inside the computer for us to explore, destroy, and interact with as an epic story unfolds before us.

You could play this…

…or this…

Truth be told, I’ve played through Neverwinter Nights, Freespace, Homeworld, Arkham Asylum, Halo… a few games here and there, and I’ve had fun with the Wii. Games fall into one of two general categories: the expansive and epic, and the seemingly trivial.

I mean, look at Bejeweled or any number of internet flash games. They’re nothing that couldn’t have been done on an NES. They could have been done on an Atari. On the other hand, part of the appeal of games such as God of War and Arkham Asylum is the immersive narrative and open world where you can do almost anything.

The other end of the spectrum contains games like Bejeweled. However, even a game as intricately designed as, say, Grand Theft Auto, has a few simple goals remenicent of the original 8-bit games: get to Area-A before bad guys see you, before time runs out, or kill everything you can see.

No matter how far the technology advances, the basic premise is the same. I take it as a good sign that the classics don’t really go out of style. On the other hand, it’s a bit upsetting that we can’t come up with new material. Maybe the Greeks really did do it all.

Maybe not.

Oh well. Free flash games beat multi-million dollar project. Yay, underdog.

Now time for the links!

  • With all this talk of games and new versions, I’m glad these comic book movies never got past the planning stages.  Especially the Superman movie with Nick Cage.
  • That’s actually it for today. I’m trying to save as much time to work on Charcoal Streets as possible. Things are moving along… See you Friday!
Apr 112011
 
 April 11, 2011  Posted by at 12:01 am April Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , ,  4 Responses »

All DMs think they're God... Also, thanks to my beautiful fiancé for the image!

April 11, 2011

I’ve been gaming since the fall of 2004. I’ve played a mage, a rogue, a fighter, a half-elf, human, a gunslinger, a warlock, a Rebel Alliance pilot, a dragon, a demigod, and everything in between. It’s been a fun ride. At the same time, on a subconscious level, I’ve become a better teacher thanks to my years as a Game Master in various games from modern supernatural thrillers to campy fantasy adventures.

Sound weird? Let me explain.

Let the Rogue Shine

Every player likes to work a different way. Some players like to negotiate and interact with the Non-Player Characters (NPCs). Others like to solve puzzles and figure out mysteries. Still more like to get right to the battles and get their hands dirty. Giving each player a chance to do what he or she loves is a great way to keep interest high and make sure people leave satisfied.

In a classroom, I look for the students that like to answer questions. I make them team leaders. I once had a young student who liked to doodle in my journalism class. I made her cartoonist for the newsletter we were putting together and she never looked happier. I had a student once who liked to talk more than write and couldn’t figure out how to write his essay, so I told him to tell me everything he needed to say. When he was done, I showed him the outline I’d written just from what he said, and from that, he was able to finish.


Decisions by ~pezton22 on deviantART

Follow the Bouncing Bard

Looking for that player or two that likes to go ahead sword swinging is a good way to lead the rest of the party into the right direction for the story. More than once, I’ve had a situation where one player dictated the rest of the group’s actions because of experience or sheer personality. Our current fighter is clashing with our new wizard, but getting one to decide on a course of action is a good way to get the party moving as one.

In a classroom, I look for the ones that like to talk and answer and, if I have a few of them, I’ll have group activities where these students will help lead the others. I don’t have to move the entire class. I just have to nudge a few people the others will follow. Yeah, it’s Machiovellian, but it works.

Dice Stacking

It’s a well-known fact that the number of dice your players stack is a good indicator of how engaged they are with your story. If you ever see them actually stack all seven standard die, check to make sure you’re actually at the table and not a hallucination.

In a classroom, it’s good to know the subtle signs of boredom. Leaning on your arm is not enough. That could just be normal sleepiness. Kids that move their feet a lot are a good indication of boredom. The smart ones may try to look engaged, but if you see feet moving, they’re restless. They couldn’t care less about what you’re saying, and if they do, they’re only paying attention for the grade.


Crayel Nero by *dagger3000 on deviantART

When We Last Met Our Heroes…

The best games are the ones that have continuing stories. The renegade elves moved this way and entered the dungeon. After following them into the depths of the earth, you find that they not only want an artifact of great power, but they seek to summon an angel of destruction. After dispatching the elves, the angel is still summoned and you must stop it from entering the Shadowfell and reclaiming its full power so it can cut a path of death across the land.

Linked stories build on the world on the game…

In the classroom, linking each lesson to the last is important to avoid to the inevitable, “What does this have to do with anything?” question. Well, lesson one showed you how to put an introduction and thesis statement together. Lesson two shows how to use that thesis statement to outline your body paragraphs. Lesson three shows you how to use the body paragraphs to summarize everything in your conclusion and how the thesis should still guide every part.

It’s all about running a scenario and making sure everyone gets what they want and what they need. If you plan it right, pretty soon what they want and what they need turn out to be the same thing.

No links today. It’s been a long… LONG weekend. More fun stuff on Wednesday, though. Thanks for reading, and keep sharing Randomology links!


Dungeons and Dragons Goodness by *candypalmer on deviantART

Mar 022011
 

And you smell like Funyuns!

March 2, 2011

Nothing beats strapping on that AK-47, getting in the Kevlar-lined car, and driving down the street while gunning down a few dozen people for points, right?

Of course, it changes when it’s actual people gunning down innocent bystanders in one of the most violent cities in the world. And it becomes very personal for me when said city is in my home country and is, in many ways, the best evidence in the world against drug prohibition.

Call of Juarez: The Cartel is already drawing sharp criticism in Mexico and here in the US. Very few details have been released regarding the game. All we know is that the city of Juarez will play a central role and cartels will be involved, but that alone is so offensive that Mexican legislators are looking to ban the game.

Why the outburst, you ask? After all, the Call of Duty, Grand Theft Auto, and other franchises have used glorified violence before right? Sex and violence sells, and this will be just another entry into a market filled with genocidal aliens, mobsters, and terrorists.

So what exactly is Ciudad Juarez?


Juarez by =Robowan on deviantART

Well, it’s one of the most violent cities in the world if you don’t count official war zones. Last month, the city averaged eight homicides a day. In 2010, the city had more than 3,000 homicides, more than double what it had two years before. A series of female disappearances and sexual murders totaling between 400 and 5,000 have rocked the city for years. The Juarez Cartel, also known as the Vicente Carrillo Fuentes Organization, is brutal to the point that it makes the deaths in Saw look like a Disney Channel movie of the week.

Short version? Ciudad Juarez and the cartel wars are a bloody, constant nightmare for millions of people.

I know people who have been kidnapped, not necessarily by the Juarez Cartel, but kidnapped nonetheless. I’ve walked the streets of Mexico as soldiers patrol in jeeps armed with fifty-cal machine guns. I’ve seen my beautiful Mexico reduced to a police state just to maintain some semblance of stability…

And I’m fine with this game getting released.


juarez by ~juanjosee on deviantART

Don’t get me wrong. No one knows as of this writing whether or not the players will play as cops, cartel members, or just unaligned badasses on the warpath. The very idea that someone thinks the violence in Ciudad Juarez is appropriate for a video game frankly sickens me.

But I’m all for Ubisoft releasing this game.

Will it influence people to join gangs? No more than Grand Theft Auto increased the stealing of cars or Mortal Kombat increased fights to the death. Medal of Honor didn’t make people join the military in waves. The only people who would be swayed to join the drug war on the side of the cartels because of this game are the people who are already sure they want to do it and are looking for a flimsy excuse.

I’ll tell people who play the game just what it’s based on. I’ll make sure they know that real people die those situations in the game. I’ll make sure people understand the drug trade is responsible for hundreds of thousands of ruined lives.

But I won’t call to ban it.

Let’s face it. What is one video game going to do that decades of the Drug War and heavily armed paramilitary cartels who decapitate their victims can’t do?


You Are Supposed To Protect Us by ~blackophelia on deviantART

  • I’m not sure how I feel about Nickelodeon making new episodes of shows like Doug, Rugrats, and other classics. Maybe they’ll be good, but I doubt it. They’ll have to fit them to today’s audience. and, let’s face it, my generation has different tastes. Speaking of which, when are they going to release Pete and Pete on DVD?
  • And finally, I hope this is a real movie, or at least a short film. Imagine every meme you ever watched on Youtube… in one movie.

Jun 172010
 

June 17, 2010

A lot of things will hopefully go down in the next couple of weeks, one of which I hope will involve me getting a full-time teaching position. If that’s the case, Randomology.org may suffer because of lack of time, so starting next week, I’m going to try something a little different. I’ll run shorter articles, maybe 300-400 words, six days a week and include 4-5 links to stories at the bottom. Not only will this make writing the website a lot faster, but I’ll get stories out that would otherwise get left behind.

Trust me, I have a lot of links and images I never get to put on here.

For this week at least, regular schedule will continue. I’ll see how this goes over tomorrow.

Fasten your seatbelts. It’s link time.

  • Megan Fox will be in the new issue of Interview magazine and she will be in a little bob cut. And she will be making out with herself. Sort of. It’s a mannequin designed to look like her. Still, if you’ll settle for that, check out the link.
  • That trailer a few DvB’s ago for a Mortal Kombat movie is looking more and more like a real teaser for a movie. The trailer for the new Mortal Kombat game finally came out and it looks nothing like the Saw-like gore-fest in the live-action clip. Here’s hoping the movie is as awesome as the new game also looks.
  • Anyone who saw Minority Report remembers those awesome computer interfaces that reacted to touch and movement. Check out how they were designed and why you can expect to have your very own hyper-futuristic computer in just a few short years.
  • Growing up in Mexico, I remember seeing a lot of playground that were rusted, or neglected, or otherwise unsafe. I didn’t care! They were fun! Danger equals fun! THESE playgrounds, however, would give most kids nightmares for a year.
  • I’m ashamed to admit it took me a good five minutes to figure out what was wrong with this house. How long will it take you?
  • Maxim generally runs quotes from the interviews with their models and try to appeal in the manly man in all of us with titillating snippets. Problem is… sometimes they objectify the women much more than they probably intend. However, some clever folks at Reddit have changed this and, well, “fixed” a photo to make it more appealing to THINKING men. Take that, chauvinism!
  • Ozzy Osbourne has done a lot in his life, from fronting one of the greatest rock bands of all time to showing us a family far more dysfunctional than our own. However, now Ozzy’s blood may help science learn how the body reacts to substance abuse.
  • And finally, a little encouragement for any girls thinking of batting for the other team, courtesy of the BBC. See you tomorrow!

Jun 142010
 
 June 14, 2010  Posted by at 12:01 am June Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,  No Responses »

The World Cup is a conspiracy to brainwash America into accepting foreign control... or something like that.

June 14, 2010

I don’t really care for soccer. I grew up in Mexico and it still didn’t get my attention. I like watching a game with friends once in a while, and the World Cup’s always fun, but I’m not a fan…

And now I have to go and defend soccer because conservatives in this country think it’s a plot against America.

That’s right, folks. Fasten your seatbelts. The crazy train is leaving the station.

Glenn Beck, C. Gordon Liddy, and Dan Gainor have all come out recently and spoken out against the sport because it’s not American, it’s played by the poor, and a host of other accusations. Apparently, it’s not enough to just not like something anymore. It has to be part of a conspiracy.


Conspiracy Psyduck by ~YTPArtist on deviantART

Soccer Incites Violence

Beck had a long rant about how the World Cup was a metaphor for Obama’s administration: The rest of the world likes it and America doesn’t. However, the striking part of this little number was his assertion that soccer is dangerous because fans riot and are violent. He says he’s never seen a baseball riot and can’t imagine people in the United States riot over their games.

Really?

Also, and this may just be that pesky math again, but since soccer is played globally, wouldn’t it make sense that they would have more violent riots than baseball or hockey? More games, more fans, higher possibility?

American Exceptionalism

Liddy feels that America shouldn’t have anything to do with the sport since it originated in South America. Gainor also seems to think that since soccer is so big in other parts of the world, including Mexico and other parts of the Americas, the World Cup and all its promotion is some kind of indoctrination for the eventual conquest by Hispanics.

That’s right. If we embrace soccer, we’ll be better set in 2040 when the Hispanics take over this country.

I’m not so offended by that last comment as I am the first part of Liddy’s argument. Soccer’s bad because it came from another country? Even if it was played with the head of a slain enemy in its original form, today’s version is played with a ball.

You know what else came from foreign countries?

Beer.

Sushi.

Tacos.

Salma Hayek.

All delicious, all foreign.

Next argument!


Retouch: Salma Hayek by ~Dragellka on deviantART

Poor People Play It

…And? This has to be the dumbest thing said this week. Gainor’s assertion that soccer is played by poor people because they can’t afford equipment like bats, gloves, nets, and things to play other sports is stupid. And it misses the point.

This is one of the reasons soccer is so popular. You can play two on two, one on one, groups, whatever. Get an open area, a ball, and go wild. More complex systems don’t mean the game is any better.

How much time do you burn on games on Facebook?

Then you have the theory that introducing soccer to our children is just getting them ready for the “browning” of America. Because we play soccer in Mexico, you know? So when we take over, it will make the transition much easier.

Learning about and liking soccer will make us more comfortable interacting with other cultures because we will have something in common! The horror!

…Idiot.

I thought I’d heard the dumbest conspiracy theories around. After the “two suns” incident, I thought I’d heard just about enough. Then again, I plan to read Beck’s novel and rip the plot to shreds. Then I go and read stuff like this, about soccer being some sort of conspiracy to take over our country or brainwash us.

I wonder how these people go through life without staining all their undies.

Jun 102010
 

June 10, 2010

Everyone feeling the impending weekend? Oh, I am. I’m dusting off some notes from the last few years and finally finding time to write a series of short stories set on the border. These aren’t “chicano” fiction, however. If anything, they’re urban fantasy with a border twist. Should be fun. I might post a few excerpts here on slow days over the summer.

Also, I get to play D&D again. It’s been a long time since I got to sit on the boring side of the DM screen. Pommel, the warforged fighter, lives again! They clang, b1tch3z!

Anyway, enough of my geekery. Links!

  • Ever wanted to own a piece of fake history? A creation museum is selling a few choice pieces including rocks, bones, and fossils that all prove the Earth is 6,000 years old.
  • This lingerie ad is pretty standard. It’s quite sexy, actually, except something happens at the end that makes it a really good commercial. Don’t you just love it when the plot gives you a twist?

  • A woman had a brilliant idea for finding parking. She made her own.

  • A woman called tech support to find out how to disable the Pacman game on Google’s front page. Apparently, it kept her from studying.

  • And finally… I know I’ve gone on about making things gritty for the sake of gritty and have mocked the practice with the continuing stories “Peaches and Bullet Bills,” but a trailer’s hit the web in the last few days that shows a gritty, realistic Mortal Kombat. Rumor says it’s a trailer for an upcoming movie. Others think it might be a rpmo for the new MK game due out later this year, but this is looking less and less likely. Personally, I just think it’s bloody, violent, and everything the first two MK movies should have been. Check it out and comment. Warning: there’s a fair amount of gore.