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Jul 122011
 

July 12, 2011

Seeing as how I had to remind my students that I, not the loudest kid in class, is the one that calls the shots, I’m a slightly sour mood. Still, I can’t deny you, dear reader, the soul-healing benefits of awesome links.

Oh, and two of my kids used Credence Clearwater Revival for their assignment. And one used Mozart. And NO ONE used Beiber. I think that’s a small victory.

  • The University of Arizona labeled one of its students as a non-resident. Why? her parents are from Mexico. She’s a citizen. But she’ll have to pay a LOT more to go to school. Because her parents are from Mexico. And she’s a citizen. But her parents are from Mexico. I don’t know how many more times I can write it and it still makes no fraking sense.
  • And speaking of school, after getting that very expensive law degree, how would you like to work at the Waffle House? No joke.
  • I think I like THIS Beiber better.
  • Is this animated tattoo for real? It’s a cool idea, but I’m not sure how practical it really is.
  • I don’t think I will ever eat a pickle again after seeing this.
  • I’m a HUGE fan of the DC Animated Universe. I loved the old 90′s cartoon and still dig the newer stuff like Under the Red Hood. I am so looking forward to Batman: Year One.
  • A source close to the meat-wearing one says that Lady Gaga is actually dying and her costumes and make-up are a way to hide the disease. Real or fake?
  • And finally… sex with a robot. See you tomorrow!

May 232011
 

Party's over, folks. We really do have to work today.

May 23, 2011

So… We’re all still here.

Big surprise, but the impending apocalypse didn’t actually happen. The predictions of a lunatic were taken seriously by thousands and didn’t amount to much more than a few earthquakes and several wackos all over the world thinking that this was their last week on Earth. One woman tried to kill herself and her children because she didn’t want them to suffer through the Rapture. A few guys made thousands of dollars by promising religious folks to give them money to care for their pets when said owners disappeared. Those who followed this prediction now look like fools.

And what have we learned, children?

People is dumb.

Oh yeah, we are. No doomsday prediction has ever come true. Ever. However, when some people believed the end of the world was coming, we had a mix of reactions, and this really lets you know what our priorities are in this day and age.


RaPturE.. by ~azriel911 on deviantART

Hush, Little Baby

Take, for example, the mother who attempted to kill her children and herself with a box cutter. What mother would willingly kill their child? If you’re a proponent of assisted suicide and of ending a loved one’s pain when all other options are gone, then you might understand where this woman was coming from. However, there’s a very big difference between a doctor, someone with an advanced degree, telling you the scientific reasons why your mother, wife, child, or someone else has no hope for recovery and a lunatic who’s been wrong before saying that God’s coming to town.

What was the evidence? What was the overwhelming piece of information that convinced this mother that death was the most merciful thing she could do? And I use “merciful” in the most hesitant way since death by box cutter seems pretty gruesome.

Why did she do it? Someone said God said so. Faith is blind.


puppy by ~flison on deviantART

I Loves My Dog

Then take the guys who made thousands of dollars by telling people they would take care of the taken’s pets when the Rapture took the faithful away. People were actually worried about their pets. Not only that, but they were so secure in the knowledge that they were sinless enough to be taken into Heaven on Saturday that they made preparations.

They didn’t pray and ask for forgiveness. They didn’t try to make amends. They were already convinced of their inherent moral superiority to the sinners and heathens of the world. There was zero doubt.

Of course, it could also be that they wanted to be sure… just in case. It still shows a surprising amount of confidence on their part seeing as how the payment was non-refundable, which is how our two entrepreneurs managed to keep the cash.


After the Apocalypse by ~VampireDarlla on deviantART

What Now?

One of the big questions is what will happen to the cult members since the world is still here. Do they understand that their leader is full of it and go on with their lives? Do they see the error in believing someone apparently has divine knowledge of a very specific event?

Nope.

If past incidents are any indication, they will believe even harder. You could, of course, play Apocalypse bingo with the list of excuses that will get paraded around. Everything from Beck’s followers to Y2K survivalists, to the believers in this latest faux-catastrophe will continue to cling on to their beliefs because, in their minds, they were not proven wrong. Something changed. God blinked.

Whatever.

When you believe something on faith alone, just because you felt it, nothing will change your mind. Ever. You’d need a fundamental change in your being to alter your thought. Frankly, this sort of thinking and the sheer number of people who believed in it or felt scared enough to pull crap like this should give us pause. It’s the same mentality every conspiracy theorist holds on to. Evidence to the contrary isn’t proof of an error. It’s proof of a deeper conspiracy.

Me? I was drinking with a fedora on while the world was supposed to end.


Beer by ~PuzzledBean on deviantART

Now let’s see how awesome this world is and what we could have lost if it all had ended on Saturday.

  • You want to see what sheer nuclear death looks like? Check THIS out.
  • Have you ever wondered what a singularity of pure manliness looks like? Wonder no more!
  • And finally, if you want a battle to level buildings and shatter civilization, here’s Beiber versus Beethoven in the rap duel we all knew was coming. Personally, Ludwig won. See you later, Randomologists!