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Jul 162012
 

Ladies, you’re as much to blame as the men. I’m serious.

July 16, 2012

Women, we need to talk.

To say that women have had body issues is like saying the Titanic suffered from a leaky bulkhead. The triggers are everywhere: movies, magazines, sexism, and the prevalent belief that women can’t be powerful, confident, AND beautiful. It’s enough to make you sick. Recent incidents have made me think it’s not just the men, though.

Ladies, you need to pick up the slack.

I’m convinced that women put themselves down more than men put them down. That’s not to say men don’t do their fair of damage. I’m saying that women need to at least put themselves up on a pedestal. It’s not a matter of being conceited or full of yourselves. It’s about knowing what you’re good at, knowing that you’re a beautiful person, knowing that no one can put you down but yourself at the end of the day.


beauty by ~paraplexus007 on deviantART

Look at these actresses that play “ugly” people on TV. Seriously… skew the makeup a little, put on some frumpy clothes… and that’s enough to qualify otherwise beautiful women as unattractive? I watch science fiction and even I find that one a stretch. Warp drive’s more believable.

The thing that really set me off, though, was the protest at Teen Vogue earlier this month. Young women protested the magazine’s use of photo-manipulation to make the models look “prettier.” They felt it sent the wrong message. It does. And how did this all end? Vogue invited some of the protestors up to talk… and gave them a five minute lecture on how they should try harder to be prettier.

Just imagine the alpha bitch at any high school and you get the idea of what these protestors sat through.

Then you have actual websites that track how skinniness… and one particular website has targeted Kate Upton as too fat.

Kate Upton? Really?


Anorexia by ~xCutxUpxAngelxVx on deviantART

Beauty is a matter of attitude. How well do you handle yourself? It’s not entirely about how thin, fat, toned, blond, brown, or short you are, and it has zero to do with the size of your breasts. Your beauty is something you dictate. A confident woman is ten times more attractive than someone who is insecure. A woman who is kind and laughs is more beautiful than a woman who is cold and distant.

Ladies, you have to be nicer to yourselves just as men have to learn to not be superficial. Feeling good about yourself is not narcissism. Saying you are beautiful is not being conceited.

We all need work. Let’s start by calling the women in our lives “beautiful.” Not because we need to build them up. Not because we need to balance anything out. We should do it because they truly are beautiful.

And now, let’s enjoy some much-needed humor this Monday morning. Enjoy!

Jan 112012
 

She's perfect, and I get to marry her. Envy me.

January 11, 2012

Ladies, please stay. Guys, you can leave. Actually, guys, stay for this one. This is our fault. All of us. Yes, even the ones who are single right now. Actually, especially the ones who are single right now.

The Daily Mail recently put out a picture it claims is a composite of the most beautiful celebrities. Apparently, based on a poll of most attractive features on various celebrities, the final composite should be the most beautiful woman in the world, a Venus of perfection, the genetic offspring of a billion wet dreams.

In truth, it looks like a mutant reject from Victoria’s Secret.


The Perfect face by ~327588 on deviantART

Is this what we’ve come to? It’s not bad enough that we’ve Photoshopped the hell out of perfectly good-looking women. It’s not enough that we’ve agreed on some perfect weight and figure everyone woman must achieve. It’s not enough that “young and blond and cocaine-chic” is standard for any actress who wants to break into Hollywood or stay there. You have to have the same facial structure and body type. The more plastic, the better, eventually.

What happened, people? Look at older actresses. They have their slight imperfections, every one of them. Jennifer Connelly, for example, has those big ol’ eyebrows that would make Robert Pattinson envious. Even someone like Marilyn Monroe, despite actually being quite thin yet well-rounded, is not a sexual icon because everything fit together perfectly or she had no imperfections. It was the way she carried herself.

It’s those little imperfections that make a woman beautiful. It’s everything. Mind, body, and heart. My fiancée is a beautiful. Everything about her is gorgeous. I love the little beauty mark above her lip. I love the way she looks just as she wakes up and smiles. It’s not just her looks, either. I love when she, as she puts it, “gets girly,” and giggles when she’s normally very sarcastic and blunt about things. I love hearing her laugh.


Mi amor… by *dagger3000 on deviantART

Ladies, young women, and girls, you’ve been done a disservice. You’ve been told you’re not young enough, thin enough, white enough, dark enough, any number of things. You’ve been told to get liposuction or get your stomach stapled. You’ve been told to dye your hair to match some unnatural hue. You’ve been broken and beaten and made to feel like crap. Now, someone took the time to show everyone what “beauty” is based on a series of polls and bad photomanipulation.

You’re beautiful. You don’t have to look like Kim Kardashian. In fact, even looking like Kim Kardashain can’t hide the sheer ugliness inside. If there is any ugliness in you, it’s personality-based. No matter how much you hate your hair, your stomach, your breasts, your legs, or anything else, a body that’s been splayed over every magazine cover on Earth won’t help you.

It’s been said every woman has her own special beauty. Don’t be ashamed of what you perceive to be your imperfections. They may be part of what makes you unique.

Guys, don’t forget to tell someone close to you she’s beautiful. Every day. Don’t let them forget. Ever.

And now, so we can all just feel a little better, here are some people getting hurt because of stupidity. Their own.

Nov 082011
 

November 8, 2011

Guess who has to drop several pounds gained over the last year? Yeah, it’s going to be a fun month cutting back on caffeine, sugar, pounds, AND getting ready for the holiday season. Woohoo?

With that in mind, let’s get some links out of the way.

  • Assassin’s Creed may be making its way tot he movies, but some insiders are shocked, SHOCKED I say, that Ubisoft has virtually total control over story, casting, everything. What does a video game company know about making movies, they ask? I’d ask instead what the hell Hollywood knows about adapting video games to movies. Bloodrayne, anyone? Prince of Persia? Doom? I could go on…
  • Speaking of which, the president of Universal admits his company makes “shitty” movies. His words, not mine.
  • If you find yourself complaining about the MTV Generation… you may be TOO old. Older than you think.
  • I love sleeping with some nice, semi-fluffy pillows and a warm comforter, but this is probably the best place to sleep EVAH!
  • Adam Savage had a small role in a zombie flick. Short and sweet. Check it out.
  • There can be an argument that some people have TOO much money. They buy things that no one needs. Things like, well, anything in the Skymall catalogue. Or they go and do crap like THIS.
  • And finally, here’s the trailer to Denzel Washington’s new movie, Safe House. Enjoy, and I’ll see you tomorrow.

Jul 282011
 

July 28, 2011

This will very likely be the last Divine by Zero until August. We’re moving and still need to pack a lot of stuff. Plus, looks like I’ve got another class to teach next week, so time is going to be tight.I will however be posting the Weekly Muse story on Sunday and the new poll will go up on Monday. This will overlap for the rest of the feature’s run.

Well, let’s get started, shall we?

  • Want to know how to build your own Wall-E? Here you go.
  • The images of newly web gay couples in New York are touching and a testament to the power of love. Way to go, folks!
  • Michelle Bachmann does not support gays. At all. Her district has actually implemented measures to even make it impossible to help the victims of gay bullying. The result? Her home state has to deal with a rash of teen suicides because she and her ilk are too conservative to reach out and help others.
  • I’ve lived in small rooms. College dorms come to mind. The singles in Hogate Hall at DePauw University are basically closets with furniture, but nothing beats this ultra-thin home in Asia.
  • And finally… a movie with Summer Glau that features geeks fighting the forces of evil through LARPing? Why not!? I’ll see you tomorrow!

Jul 212011
 

July 21, 2011

The voting is coming along nicely both here and on Facebook! keep going, guys. And when you’re done, please help yourself to a link or two. They’re on me.

I know, I know. I spoil you guys.

  • And speaking of things that are fun and bring us joy, every time a new harry Potter movie or book comes out, without fail, we get the psychos. Pat Robertson is already out in full force, but this gentleman takes the cake. Yeah, he’s a comedian, but the scary thing is that I’ve heard people who talk like him.
  • Rick Perry, possible GOP presidential candidate, started out as a Democrat. Hey, it IS Texas. He probably switched because they use liberals for target practice down here.
  • The Amazing Spider-Man is coming out next year, and we’ve already been treated to a blurry teaser filmed in a movie studio. That doesn’t mean we can’t look back on the old cartoon and guess at the kinds of things we can expect from a darker take on our favorite web-slinger.
  • Speaking of airheads, here’s Palin TRYING to look sexy. The result is akin to a mildly retarded beagle thinking it’s a ballerina.
  • And on the heels of the last article, Jon Stewart addresses Fox’s handling of the hacking scandal. See you Friday, folks, and keep voting!
Jul 142011
 

July 14, 2011

Wow. Thursday already? The week is going by at rocket-speed… except when I want it. Oh well. Let’s get some links up in!

  • Sarah Palin got a documentary called The Undefeated? Didn’t she lose the vice-presidency and quit her gubernatorial job mid-way through?
  • I had an interesting conversation regarding meat on Twitter. I’ll probably write more about it later, but suffice to say I’m a proud meat-eater and have no qualms about killing an animal for my food. With that in mind, there’s a reason a lot of vegetarians and vegans get a bad rep. It’s self-involved jerks like this that make the rest of you look bad.
  • And finally, here’s the trailer for the sequel to Sherlock Holmes. I hope they don’t overdo the bullet-time, but other than that, it looks fun. See you tomorrow!

Jul 112011
 

It's not rape if you change the wording, right, Bristol?

July 11, 2011

Oh, there are so many things I wanted to talk about. I wanted to talk about Bachmann’s stupid pledge to ban gay marriage and porn. I wanted to touch on old shows getting new commercials inserted during the story. I wanted to do so much, but now I am forced to address a language issue that has far-reaching consequences.

Bristol Palin has ruined my day again.

It’s no secret that she had premarital sex, got pregnant, then was about to marry the father of her child even though they later had a falling out. It’s no secret that she’s a hypocrite for claiming that abstinence is the only kind of birth control that’s useful even though she never practiced it, never received proper sex education, and studies have shown that abstiance education actually increases the chance of getting pregnant or catching an STD. All of this is well known, if not accepted, by the Right.

But now Bristol has gone and said something that doesn’t just condratict reality. She’s said something that actually damages language and could create a problem for any woman that is sexually assaulted.

Bristol claims her virginity was “stolen.” She says she wasn’t raped, though. Her rationale is that we say we “lose our virginity,” so it’s accurate to say hers was stolen since she didn’t consent.

But it wasn’t rape, she insists. She was just really drunk and doesn’t remember what happened.

Yeah, that’s called date rape.


Scared Silent by *MEGAN-Yrrbby on deviantART

Words have meaning for a reason. The verbal knot she created by trying to defend her statements is not only indicative of her poor grasp of language, but it sets a dangerous precedent. If she and others like her can claim that their virginity was “stolen” but it wasn’t rape, if such a viewpoint of contradictions is ever accepted as valid, then others can make a similar claim.

“See, I didn’t rape her. I stole her virginity. And she doesn’t remember.”

“I didn’t kill my husband. I introduced an unappetizing ingredient in the form of ricin into his food because I knew he wouldn’t like it. It’s okay. He didn’t know what happened.”

“No, I didn’t drive drunk and hit someone. I was enjoying a night out when someone carelessly didn’t notice I was driving erratically and got in my, leading to their death. I didn’t take their life. They lost it.”

Like her mother, Bristol seems to think she can just make up her own definitions for words and it’ll just be accepted. Guess what? Yes, English is a language that changes all the time, but just because you don’t understand it and don’t get things like vocabulary, does not mean you get to go and invent new terms.


A Form of Rape by ~Equivamp on deviantART

So let me be blunt. There’s a term for stealing someone’s virginity. “Stealing” means to take without permission. When this applies to virginity or when it implies someone performs a sexual act on you without your consent, that’s called rape. If Bristol doesn’t want to report it, that’s her problem, but it adds to the problem of women not coming forth with assaults like this so something can be done…

But going on the national stage and claiming that having someone “steal” her virginity is not rape is irresponsible and ignorant. If you want to get technical, Bristol took English and forced it to produce an unnatural meaning. They made it do something it didn’t want to do. They, shall we say, made it perform an unnatural act?

Well, let’s get something fun now to wash the stupid away. Here’s Ben Franklin battling Billy Mayes.

Jul 072011
 

July 7, 2011

No, I’m not going to address the Casey Anthony trial except for one thing. All I’m going to say is that everyone stunned by the verdict needs to answer one question: is there reasonable doubt? Yes. Is there evidence to show she did it? Oh yeah. But go back and look at that last answer. Reasonable doubt? Oh yes. That’s the basis of our justice system. There were so many pieces of evidence that were not linked that while most of us might readily assume she was guilty, it’s an assumption.

  • I’ve been wondering how I can get my sugar AND caffeine hits in one easy-to-go package. Behold, caffeinated Butterfinger!
  • And finally, Neil Gaiman alone is already nerd fuel. Adam Savage of Mythbusters? Also cool. Adam Savage serenading Neil Gaiman as Gollum doing a spoke-word rendition of “I Will Survive”? The only way this could be cooler is if Gaiman was being knighted with a lightsaber.

Jun 272011
 

Next up we'll have a Dalek barbershop quartet.

June 27, 2011

Well, I called it.

We now have fully synthetic pop stars, and not just virtual copies of anime or video game characters. I’m talking full-blown people.

Japan actually had a completely virtual pop star for about a month until her digital identity was revealed this week.

Eguchi Aimi was the latest member of Japan’s AKB48, an all-girl group that consists of several different teams of performers. She was featured in a commercial, a magazine spread, and was listed on the group’s website. For all intents and purpose, she seemed to be a real person.

Then we find out that she’s actually a composite, which really begs the question…

Japan, this group had sixty-plus members, all attractive young women who were willing to work and perform. Did you really need a completely virtual singer?

I’ll give the management credit. The fact that people were even debating whether Aimi was real or not speaks volumes to the level of detail put into her design. Furthermore, the stills, while looking Photoshopped, are nevertheless quite impressive. She sings, she takes photos, and she’ll never ask for a raise. She’s the perfect client for her creators.


Fame by ~ShimmiChan on deviantART

Of course, this doesn’t answer the question of why anyone would even make her. It’s not like they have a shortage of starlets. In fact, Aimi is a composite of other members of the group. This could easily be a test of the new technology, a stunt to show everyone just how far the programming and hardware can go.

Me? I’m terrified. Management managed to pass off this construct as a real person for a respectable amount of time, and given a year or two, the technology might easily be good enough to do away with the tiny imperfections that tipped off some fans. Think about it. Any recording company with sufficient money will be able to make pop stars on demand.

Combine that with this little study that shows there is a scientific basis for what we consider to be “catchy,” that we might be able to scientifically determine if a song will be a hit in the next few years, and we have everything we need for companies to start churning out Justin Beibers, Lady Gagas, and Rebecca Blacks. Given how Facebook and Google can target ads based on your likes, this will make it so much easier to target specific demographics.


Skynet Nokia parody by ~paulelder on deviantART

Do you think the Grammys will give the award to the programmer or the virtual person?

And if you don’t think a company will invest some money in a pop star that doesn’t eat, drink, sleep, and will do anything and everything without complaining or going on a cocaine binge…

Hi. Welcome to America. Land of the free. Home of the Whopper.


Commercialism. by *WhatIfItAllWouldEnd on deviantART

Let’s get the links out there.

  • It looks like Nine Inch Nails’ Year Zero is going to be a miniseries for HBO. I have fond memories of that album. I used to listen to it as I walked around the Capitol on my lunch break. The dissonance was amazing for clearing my head.
  • Evanescence is coming out with a new album. Without sounding too hipster, I remember hearing them before they got big. Their REALLY early stuff (the albums you can only find on eBay now) is really haunting and a lot more personal, but I’m looking forward to this new one.
  • And finally, seeing as how I ripped the Miss Universe contestants for not understanding basic scientific vocabulary, someone was kind enough to further show how dumb their arguments were by replacing one little word in some of the responses. Enjoy, and I’ll see you on Wednesday.

Jun 152011
 

It's real because I say so.

June 15, 2011

Careful readers may have noted how I tend to knock on people who hold outrageous beliefs for the sake of tradition or comfort. Think gays are committing a sin by loving and existing because the Bible says so? Do you think that America was founded on Judeo-Christian principles despite the Bible being entirely opposite to what the Bill of Rights guarantees?

Guess what? You’re a moron for ignoring reality.

On the other hand, it’s comforting to believe in something that has no basis in reality. It’s yours. It’s personal. Conspiracy theorists work this way. They see themselves at the center of some unimaginable tangle of powerful beings and organizations that can somehow control everything from the political landscape, to the progress of technology, and yet cannot catch these desktop detectives as they unravel the web of deceit.

And yet you and I are much too smart for that, right?

Well, I got to thinking…


Tempting fate by ~jsings on deviantART

How different is superstitious thinking from fanatical religious thinking? Not that far off. We had people who believed, who genuinely believed, the world was going to end last month. Some people, even if not religious themselves, will cross themselves before entering a Catholic church, just in case. My sister refuses to shuffle cards a certain way when we play poker because it will disrupt her card-ma.

Yes, “card-ma.” Her word, I swear to Bob.

I have a Dungeons and Dragons player who insists her dice rolls don’t count if the die touches an object before it comes to a standstill. While I don’t think she really believes it, she insists that touching another object throws her off. In fact, gamers are finicky when it comes to their dice. Some dice are just “lucky.” Of course, gaming dice aren’t tested for balance like casino dice, so there very well might be lucky and unlucky dice.

Everyone’s done these sorts of things, and I tend to laugh when I see them or hear about them.

I believe in chance and choice. I believe there are things I can and cannot control. The things I cannot control are the events that are beyond my grasp, the choices others make, and the totality of existence. I can’t tell lightning where to strike. I can’t make others think what I want them to think. I can’t luck out and hope a publisher sees my work online and offers me a contract.


love is chaos by ~parasite3 on deviantART

I can, however, choose to not stand out during a lightning storm while wearing a tin foil hat. I can learn how to put together a coherent argument and make my point as persuasively as possible. I can make my work the best possible and look for ways to advertise and get the word out.

There is nothing that says charms, spells, or even good luck rituals work for us, and yet so many of us really do cling to these beliefs. I know someone’s going to fire back with, “But that’s the die I used when I slew the vampire king! It’s lucky!” or “I was wearing this shirt when I met the love of my life. It’s my lucky shirt.”

Well, show me the study where we discovered luck. Show me equations. Prove to me that our lives and random events around said lives are controlled by invisible force fields and I’ll eat my words!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go do laundry and make sure I have my gaming shirt for this Saturday. When I wear my Star Wars shirt, I KILL!


Old school gaming by ~Kiaaaa on deviantART

And now, for your viweing pleasure, links.

  • And finally, I have to say that while I’ve never heard of or tried this beer, this commercial alone makes me want to do it. it’s over the top, obviously conscious of its own absurdity, but it owns it like a boss. Enjoy, and I’ll see you Friday.