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Divine by Zero: Neil Gaiman in Springfield and Spike the Bloody Wear Christmas Colors

Nov 082011

November 8, 2011 Posted by Entropy Echo at 12:01 am Divine by Zero Tagged with: 45, actor, adam savage, assassin's creed, beer, carriage, columbia university, conspiracy, construction, death star, divorce, explain, funny, gay marriage, generation, herman cain, holiday, hopeless cause, horror, image, james marsters, jersey shore, kardashian, lol, movie, movies, mtv, neil gaiman, News, patron saint, paulie, pic, president, rachel maddow, scary, scene, shitty, short film, simpsons, theory, too much money, trailer, trick or treating, universal, xkcd, zombie movie No Responses »

November 8, 2011

Guess who has to drop several pounds gained over the last year? Yeah, it’s going to be a fun month cutting back on caffeine, sugar, pounds, AND getting ready for the holiday season. Woohoo?

With that in mind, let’s get some links out of the way.

Assassin’s Creed may be making its way tot he movies, but some insiders are shocked, SHOCKED I say, that Ubisoft has virtually total control over story, casting, everything. What does a video game company know about making movies, they ask? I’d ask instead what the hell Hollywood knows about adapting video games to movies. Bloodrayne, anyone? Prince of Persia? Doom? I could go on…

Speaking of which, the president of Universal admits his company makes “shitty” movies. His words, not mine.

Rachel Maddow has a theory about Herman Cain. He’s an actor. He has to be. The entire presidential run has to be some sort of massive art project. She explains her reasoning and, frankly, it makes sense.

I did not and will not talk about the Kim Kardashian divorce. Just like I didn’t talk about the wedding. However, this article lays out how the divorce, at the same time the show is still showering us with images and video of the happy newlyweds, is actually good for America. In a nutshell, the dissonance between seeing the couple just a few weeks ago and the reality of today shatters the illusion of “reality” television. It’s staged, we all know that, but this is the most glaring example so far.

If you find yourself complaining about the MTV Generation… you may be TOO old. Older than you think.

Another moron from Jersey Shore got paid good money to lecture, this time at Columbia University. Thankfully, the students he spoke to were less than pleased he was there and let him know it.

James Marsters, aka Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer answers some questions and makes a holiday picture like only Spike could make.

I once asked if someone could make a chart of how many explosions Michael Bay could fit into a movie and still make money. Amazingly, someone did just that. It seems there is a point at which the explosions cannot save a movie, but beyond that point, more boom means more cash.

Do you know someone who is against gay marriage? Here’s a handy set of pictures and text to explain the concept of gay marriage (what they gays refer to simply as MARRIAGE).

I already knew the patron saint of hopeless causes and the patron saint of beer, but I was surprised to learn there is a patron saint of ugliness. Check out the other saints you may not have heard of.

I love sleeping with some nice, semi-fluffy pillows and a warm comforter, but this is probably the best place to sleep EVAH!

Adam Savage had a small role in a zombie flick. Short and sweet. Check it out.

We have new images of the construction of the Death Star.

There can be an argument that some people have TOO much money. They buy things that no one needs. Things like, well, anything in the Skymall catalogue. Or they go and do crap like THIS.

Neil Gaiman will be on The Simpsons. Also, he gets roped into trying to do an American accent. Hilarity ensues.

Here is a headbanging bear.

And finally, here’s the trailer to Denzel Washington’s new movie, Safe House. Enjoy, and I’ll see you tomorrow.

Apocalypse Wow!

May 202011

May 20, 2011 Posted by Entropy Echo at 12:01 am May Tagged with: 2011, anarchy, anti-christ, apocalypse, beck, cafe tacuva, Christian, christianity, cia, conspiracy, dejate caer, doomsday, download, earth, end of days, family, fan art, god, jersey shore, kit, may 21, music, mythbusters, obama, prepare, president, prom, prophesy, rapture, salary, second coming, songs, superman, survival, the situation, video, view, wasteland 2 Responses »

Yummy!

May 20, 2011

Well, tomorrow is Judgment Day, folks. At least, that’s the claim by a fringe group that believes the End Times will start tomorrow with the Rapture, and culminate in the end of all things in October. If you’re a regular reader on this site, odds are you haven’t earned any special favors up above. So, in light of the impending End, let’s go over a few things we all can do once the saved are brought up to Heaven and we mere mortals are left with an empty Earth.

Start a Cult

Hey, the End is here, right? Might as well jump on the bandwagon. Millions will be left behind, and if you’re the sort of person that likes to have people listen to him or her, this is your chance to shine.

If you’ve got access to a fortified position, plenty of water, and food, you could easily attract looters of all sorts, but why not beat them to the punch by claiming to hear messages from on high and draw some easily-duped fools to perform your every whim? On this one, I’m a bit screwed since water’s already pretty scarce and I live in an apartment, but the rest of you that may live near lakes and rivers and have plenty of firepower can certainly try it out.

All you have to do is be vague enough to people believe what you say is prophesy. If it comes true, it’s divine inspiration. If it doesn’t, it’s a metaphor. Just make it work. Come up with some words and phrases you can all use to mark yourselves as different form the rest of the world. Don’t take crap from anyone and, if someone steps out of line, just threaten to give them to the cannibalistic hordes outside the compound walls.

This one’s for the ambitious, but for the rest of us…

Lady Apocalypse by *Fishbling on deviant ART

Walk the Wasteland

If you have any survival instincts or even camping experience, you can certainly become a walker in the waste. Pack up whatever essentials you may need and start your trip through what will soon be the Empty States of America. You don’t necessarily have to walk, either. Grab a car or, for that extra apolalicious twist, a motorcycle.

Be classy about it…

Get plenty of weapons, food, and supplies. just think of it as a long camping trip. You only have to think a few months ahead, too. We won’t even make it to 2012 if these guys are right.

Personally, I’m all for going to raid the local Academy sporting goods store, stock up on the essentials, and take that cross-country trip I always wanted. Might as well see the sights before October when God himself takes it all back, right? It won’t be some wild, reclaimed landscape, but I’d like to see the major sites. Of course, this could lead to all sorts of shenanigans and adventures, too.

Yay for post-Apocalyptic hijinks!

Eat It Like It Makes You Immortal

We’re all going to kick it in a few months, right? Raid that grocery store and liquor store! If you’re going to put on a few pounds or develop an alcohol addiction, this is the time. Why not spend the last few months in a haze of booze and sugar highs?

Personally, raiding the local Feldman’s and grabbing the $13,000 booze is going to be my goal once everything goes legs up. If I’m going to watch civilization consume itself in an orgy of violence and decadence, I’m going to need some good tequila.

On that same note, grab every movie and TV show you ever wanted to watch but couldn’t. You’ve got time now. I’m going to sit down and go through every season of the original Star Trek, all of Battlestar Galactica, and every Rifftrax I can get.

You’ll have to pace yourself, though. You don’t want to go through the whole thing in one sitting or you won’t be around for October’s big finale.

Play Like a Boss

Safety features? Rules? Why bother? Play the most violent sport you can find with a reasonable chance of survival. Russian Roulette is right out, but something like this might do:

Why not drag-race down the newly-abandoned superhighways? Bungee jump from the Golden Gate Bridge? Play golf in downtown Manhattan and paintball in the streets of LA? It’s all free game now.

Hey, let’s play polo, but with trucks! Hell, you could run the longest D&D game of all time! I’d be up for that. I’d run a game so long and complex that… hey! I could run the World’s Largest Dungeon! Finally, an excuse to stay awake for a week straight, then two more months!

Apocalypse by ~darkm4rk on deviant ART

Grab a Nice Spot

Come October, everything will end. Do whatever you want in the next few months, but in the end, pick a spot with a good view. Most of your major hotels and office buildings will do. Get something that will let you look out into the world one last time and bask in the glry of creation before God comes down and pushes the Off Switch…

Or…

If you’re like me and have people you care about, people you love and love you back, make the most of this time.

It’s very telling whenever someone says the end is coming. If you think your end is near, that you will soon leave this world, your priorities change. You focus on the things that truly matter. Me? I’ll stay with the people I love, read the books I never got to read, and keep writing until I can’t. Then, I’ll throw one big party and watch the world go boom with them at my side.

Should be fun…

apocalypse by *c0rr0si0n on deviant ART

And now, link storm to make up for paltry links on Wednesday!

Here are some songs to play as the world comes to an end. I’d play some of them just for the pure ironic value. And no, I am not a hipster.

With no one around, you could play live action Angry Birds.

Why is the world ending? The gays, of course!

There are also… other reasons the world will end.

If you’re going to go down as the End Times swallow everything we know… why not do it in a bar?

The CIA wrote a memo on what to expect if info leaked… the memo got leaked.

Like I wrote a while back, Christians are sharing prayer space with Muslims. Do you think this could be a herald of the End Times?

If you like pretty colors, he’re a picture of Play-Doh being shot by a gun.

Speaking of awesome pictures… this image is not Photoshopped.

Even if the world ends, this guy came out with a cool prom pic.

If aliens land after we’re all gone, they may find that the amount of Mythbusters fan art may place the mustachioed one and the pyro-ginger as deities.

When said aliens do find our bodies, what will your tattoos say about you?

Do you know how I know the End is nigh? Like, REALLY nigh? Check out the list of people that actually make less than the Situation.

If we have time, we could escape Earth to the first Earth-like planet we discovered… except I’m confused. Which one was the first Earth-like planet?

Either way, Grandpa remembers a simpler time.

This week marks the anniversary of Jim Henson’s death. I actually learned English with Sesame Street workbooks and learned to love storytelling by watching the Muppets. Nothing will ever replace him, and I thought the world was going to end when Jim left us so many years ago…

We really should have seen the end coming. I mean, Jesus himself held a press conference and told us all, right?

And remember, hen you get picked up by angels, make sure your balls are nice and fresh.

And finally, as you watch the world end, how about listening to something appropriate? See you Monday, you Survivors of the Apocalypse.

Snooki vs Actual Comedy

May 022011

May 2, 2011 Posted by Entropy Echo at 12:01 am May Tagged with: advice, analysis, beiber, best, clips, comedy, cover, dark of the moon, funny, gossip, guido, jersey shore, juice, jwoww, marc, moments, movie, News, offensive, parody, photoshop, preview, quotes, reboot, review, smush, snooki, song, teenage mutant ninja tutles, the situation, theory, trailer, transformers 3, version, video, vodka, wahlberg, wilde, women, worst No Responses »

It's like poetry... that makes you want to kill yourself.

May 2, 2011

Okay, I didn’t think the last article would make me think so hard about something that I had never intended to pursue further. No, I’m not talking about Ayn Rand and the idea of Objectivism as a path to a real Utopia.

Are the cast members of Jersey Shore comedic geniuses?

I posted a link to several videos where some cast members of The Importance of Being Ernest read lines from the show in-character. They often delivered said lines with a straight face, often with a bit of irony, but otherwise it was like watching Sir Ian McKellen do lines from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.

Anyway, take a look at the first of five videos below.

Okay, a few things. The lines as delivered are hilarious. Why? I’ve heard these same lines from clips of Jersey Shore and I have no desire to watch the show. However, I would love to watch these two do more lines like this. Why? What’s the difference? Why is one funny and the other infuriatingly bad?

I once took a class on comedy. While it killed my ability to really find anything funny for six months since I kept asking myself, “Why is this funny?” it did help me analyze literature, film, and television in a way I hadn’t considered. Also, everything is somehow a phallus or about sex.

Mel Brooks once said that tragedy is when he cuts his finger because it matters to him. Comedy is if you fall into an open manhole and die. What does he care? Comedy, then, would seem to be a matter of empathy. If we don’t care about the jerk and something bad happens to him, we laugh. If we care about the jerk, then the comedy is gone. Think of a bad horror movie where you don’t like the white college students who go investigating every noise. When they get hacked into cat food, you actually laugh.

Well, I do anyway.

Jersey Shore by ~XhereXforXtomorrowX on deviant ART

I looked up a few more quotes from the show and tried to imagine them being said by these two gentlemen. Needless to say, I think they highlight why empathy is lost on these tanned wastes of genetic material. Observe the wisdom of Jersey Shore.

Mike “The Situation”: You can hate on me all you want to, but what can you possibly say to somebody that looks like Rambo, pretty much, with his shirt off.

What can I say? Let’s see. “You’re a conceited prick who is hinging other people liking him based on his abs.” Oh, and Rambo was a Special Forces badass who was wronged by the government and went on to kill entire armies with a knife. How badass does drinking vodka make you, MIKE?

Angelina: I feel like this job is beneath me. I’m a bartender. I do, like, great things.

While bartenders do great things in the sense that they get me my drink at the bar, I wouldn’t say they do “great” things. Necessary, sure, but they’re not heroes. And I have full contempt of anyone who still says “like” in casual conservation. Yes, I’m a linguistic snob. Sue me.

Snooki: Every time I meet a nice guy, he dies. It’s the same with every pet, friend or relative I’ve ever had. EVERYONE DIES! Next it’s gonna be me. Its all just a big conspiracy!

One of the surest ways to spot a narcissist is to see how he or she reacts to events. When the deaths of others and their misfortunes are seemingly your fault no matter how removed you might have been from the event, that is narcissism. The only way she could be responsible for their deaths is if some being with the power over life and death were targeting her.

Mike “The Situation”: To call me fake, it’s just blasphemy to talk against the leader like that, in other countries you get hung for that type of shit.

I would never call The Situation fake. Shallow as a puddle of dog piss, yes, but not fake.

Snooki: I don’t go tanning anymore because Obama put a 10% tax on tanning. I feel like he did that intentionally for us, like McCain would never put a 10% tax on tanning… because he is pale and he would probably wanna be tanned.

Please see my previous note on narcissism.

Said in the right tone, these lines might work for comedy, but here’s the thing.

The cast members on Jersey Shore are stuck up jerks who respond to the most basic principles and seem, at least from what I’ve seen, to actively avoid complex thinking. These are the guys and girls who would join a frat in college just because they want to be close to the party. They think the worst possible things about women, relationships, and people in general.

Jersey Shore Quotes Poster by ~wiigamer024 on deviant ART

They’re about as shallow as I’ve ever seen, and I cannot fathom actually watching any of them for more than five minutes, let alone an hour. I remember that television was once about drama, about wit, and comedy made of carefully timed situations. I remember that WRITERS were involved once.

When did we accept that just following people was interesting? Sure, some shows like Dirty Jobs, Pawn Stars, and others are actually interesting because the people we follow are, well, interesting. The parodies are funny because they point out how silly the cast members on Jersey Shore can be. Beck was funny until we realized he was being dead serious. A murder is no laughing manner, unless it’s a movie murder delivered in a highly ironic way to a character I feel nothing for. Real idiots are not funny. Fake idiots pointing out the comedy in someone actually thinking this is acceptable, though, are hilarious.

It just goes to show two things I’ve said for a long, long time. Real life is often the source of the greatest material for stories.

Also, we pay way too much attention to the idiots in society. Stop feeding them and they’ll go away or die.

Oscar wilde. Artist by ~Hallaserke on deviant ART

Enough of that. Let’s get some links up in this!

I’e been a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fan since the 80′s cartoon, but I have to admit that this hardcore ninja version of the Ninja Turtles is plain awesome. Can we do this if we ever do another reboot?

Wahlberg and Beiber in a gritty film? It seems they’re in talks to do so because, hey, when I think “Justin Beiber,” I think inner city drama.

The eternal battle between humanity and reality rages on. It looks like reality might win.

Cracked has a scale on the good and bad side of song covers. I think the same could apply for literature. Want to make a fairy tale into a gritty cyberpunk tale? It could work. Want to take that beloved science fiction story in your head and turn it around into a steampunk noir adventure story? Have at it!

This had never occurred to me, but it’s possible ruin someone’s day with Photoshop, a picture of Justin Beiber, and the right amount of planning.

And finally, we have the new trailer for the last Transformers movie destroyed by Michael Bay. Just based on this promo, I can at least see some of the action instead of trying to make out colored blurs, but I’m not sold yet. I’m going to wait for it to come out, then see the response. Thoughts?

Tea Party: The Movie

Apr 292011

April 29, 2011 Posted by Entropy Echo at 12:01 am April Tagged with: atlas shrugged, ayn rand, bomb, brothers, conservative, fail, future, GOP, hacker, hacking, importance of being ernest, jersey shore, kitchen, koch, meaning, News, objectavism, picture, playwrite, Portal 2, prank, randian, review, sequel, summary, tea party, terminator, theme, trailer, world war 1 Response »

It's Conservarific!

April 29, 2011

I haven’t seen the film version of Atlas Shrugged. I’ve read about the book in journal articles, heard people explain Objectivism, and generally learned of it through other people’s analysis. The film, though, is being pushed in Tea Party circles as the answer to liberal Hollywood. It’s supposed to show the rest of the country just what the Tea Party hopes to build.

Since the entire book makes Lord of the Rings look like a church pamphlet, let me explain the movie in less than 800,000 words.

A few years from now, the government is going to devolve into a group of petty politicians who only pass laws in order to serve their own self-interests. A cast of successful businessmen and women are trying to save their companies amidst this environment of repression even as the country’s most creative people are vanishing. To put it mildly, it’s like the Spill crew said. Just pretend Forbes Magazine made a movie.

I’m not going to review a movie I haven’t seen, but I am going to tell you why this movie is getting hyped so much by the Tea Party and Libertarians and why it’s bombing like Germany on Poland.

Oh, too soon?

Atlas by ~ZetaxCeti on deviant ART

If you’ve never read Ayn Rand or otherwise read about her philosophies, you’re in luck! It’s dumb. Well, it sounds good on the surface, which is why so many impressionable college students and dedicated men and women seem attracted to it.

And if there are any Randians out there who will instantly label me a close-minded zombie of the system who believes government is the key to all our problems… have you READ my site?

Here is the core of Objectivism, which is at the heart of Rand’s work: the pursuit of your own happiness is the most moral and only good thing in the world. It’s a little more complicated than that, but Rand believed that altruism and sacrifice for others are evil because they rob men and women of the ability to be happy for themselves. The most moral type of economics turns out to be a complete Laissez-faire capitalism in a society where the government’s only job is to protect the people from others robbing them of their happiness. Businesses should operate with zero oversight from the government. In the book, this gets to the point where characters talk about their workers and the conditions they are in (deplorable) as a GOOD SIGN that business is free.

Do you want to know who really likes Objectivism and Libertarianism? People who already have power and want to keep it. People like the Koch Brothers, the two paranoid wackos who helped fund the Tea Party. Yes, the Tea Party was started by billionaire industrialists as a front for their own political and social views. The Tea Party is not a grassroots movement. It’s a way for the uber-rich to get their message out through the people.

Yeah, it really is the Bond-like villain behind all this.

As for the core of Atlas Shrugged, Objectivism, let me say this…

Ayn Rand had no heart.

Free Market Meme by ~Party9999999 on deviant ART

Think about it. Sacrifice for others, charity in all its forms, is evil. If someone is on the street, hungry after losing his or her job due to circumstances beyond anyone’s control, it is evil to offer that person money for food or outline directions to the nearest homeless shelter to fend off the cold.

You also have no reason to love your family just because they are your family. If your boss screws you over for perfectly petty reasons, you have no say in the matter.

After all, YOUR happiness is all that matters.

It’s basically Satanism taken to its business extreme, but don’t misunderstand me. I actually agree with some (huge emphasis on “some”) of Rand’s ideas. I think government needs to stay out of our lives, but I also know that lack of regulation in a capitalist society breeds trouble. We’re in this financial mess because no one was making sure the bankers didn’t screw all of us over.

I agree that creativity and the pursuit of happiness are important for the development of a healthy society that accepts criticism and multiple points of view, but I don’t think that happiness needs to come at the expense of others’ happiness. This one is actually one that a lot of Randians have missed when they explain it, and from what I’ve read, Rand herself thought that sacrificing the happiness of others for your own benefit was evil. In that respect, it’s similar to the Wiccan Reede. The problem, though, is that the philosophy has a built-in barrier against helping others unless it somehow affects you.Which brings us to…

Captialism as a free-for-all is the worst idea in the world. It sounds good on paper, though. Let businesses do what they must in order to succeed and create jobs, innovate, and make sure that the world keeps on truckin’. On the other hand, capitalism has no internal monitoring system to make sure that basic human rights are not violated.

SELF by *serah53000 on deviant ART

Does your boss need you to work for twelve hours a day for three dollars an hour? Hey, it’s a job, right? Need to work in unsafe conditions? Tough cookies. Were you discriminated against because of race, gender, or religious beliefs? Hey, it’s your fault for not believing in Sky God.

The entire idea behind the movie is that selfishness is good and the government can’t do anything but get in the way. Okay, I’ll grant that government is run by a bunch of children who think they have a really cool job because they get to tell other people what to do (I used to work for one of them), but government can be a place where we all come together and use our collective resources to actually do something productive. Until the time when we can all afford to take care of all of our own problems and needs, a central government is the best option we have.

Imagine one week without police, firefighters, Medicare, homeless shelters, student loans, or NASA.

This movie is tanking because people who actually known what Rand preached know better than to walk into a theater that serves as a ninety-seven minute infomercial.

The least they could have done was add some sex, explosions, and Michael Bay-like action. It’s really the only thing that can balance the bitterness and utter propaganda of Rand’s work. We actually need Michael Bay for this one. I feel sick.

Links! Quick! Before I puke!

With Portal 2 coming out, here are a few pranks you can play on your friends.

Do you want to type like a hacker in a mid-90′s thriller? Just go here, set your parameters, go to full screen, and amaze your friends with your 1337 skillz.

I love looking at designs for things that look awesome but may never actually catch on due to their sheer weirdness. Check out this kitchen of the future complete with slime-based fridge.

Ah-nold is aboard for a new Terminator movie. Now all he needs is a studio, cast, writer, and money. Oh, and someone who can justify him coming back after Terminator Salvation and Terminator 3.

When did World War 11 happen?! And why did I miss it?!

College Humor thinks there are stages to growing your hair out. From personal experience… it’s crap.

If you need further proof that Twilight is not only God-awful in its story but also a crime against the English language, look no further.

And finally, because I have to get dinner ready for my hunny bunny, let me leave you with some transcripts of The Jersey Shore as read by cast members of The Importance of Being Ernest. The full set of videos can be found here, but here’s the first one just to wet your appetite. Enjoy!

A Defense of Drug Abuse 2: Electric Boogaloo

Apr 252011

April 25, 2011 Posted by Entropy Echo at 12:01 am April Tagged with: advice, art, artist, black, caffeine, coffee, drink, duke nukem forever, energy, fillion, green, harry potter, images, jaw, jersey shore, jorts, meth, monster, mugshot, nathan, no, pic, Rebecca black, starbucks, tan, tanning, trailer, writer, writing 5 Responses »

It's twitcharrific!

April 25, 2011

Every artist needs a booze break. Whether your drink of choice is a shot of pure agave tequila, bourbon on the rocks, absinthe (if you can find it), or a chilled beer, you just want to longue back and relax, look at notes, or otherwise zone out into a chemical haze for a few minutes. Nothing wrong with that.

Of course, the opposite is also true. Sometimes you need to jump start the creative juices. Sometimes you really want to just get going and not stop until you finish. An exercise routine is good to get your blood flowing, but with a hectic schedule, you might not have time.

Enter caffeine, the savior of writers, painters, and artists everywhere.

Look, I‘m not naïve. I need me some hot or cold caffeine in the morning sometimes. However, your delivery system, like your delivery system for alcohol, must suit your needs. Not all caffeine is created equal.

A Monument to College Caffeine by ~animay0 on deviant ART

Energy Drinks

Red Bull, Monster, 5 Hour Energy Shot, whatever. Take your pick. The truth is that a lot of these drinks have a lot of sugar and other things you don’t really need. If you don’t have the time for a cup of coffee or tea, you really need to rethink your schedule. These things don’t have any more caffeine that a cup of whatever else you might want to enjoy, so why not just have something that won’t pack on the sugar?

Plus, let’s face it. Most of them taste like crap. If you really, REALLY want one, though, I recommend Monster Low Calorie. At least don’t get diabetes while you’re drinking these things.

Coffee

I’m going to get a lot of people upset but…

I can’t stand coffee.

The smell is just… I don’t know, but I’ve never liked it. I’ve tried it black, with cream and milk, and other ways, but I just can’t stomach it. Other than all that, though, coffee tends to linger on you for a long time. It stains your teeth and, unless you make it yourself, expect to pay something like twelve bucks for a cup of overprized foam.

I’m sure coffee has its fans, but I’m not one of them. Moving on…

Surging through my veins by *Xaldin911 on deviant ART

Black Tea

Dark, delicious, with a delicate flavor of herbs that both soothe and wake up with that jolt of energy… This is my favorite, hands down. Black tea can be just as pungent as coffee, but I actually don’t mind its flavor. Irish tea, which is pretty stout and bitter, is my favorite for a day when I know things are going to be hectic. It’s bold enough to wake me up and packs enough caffeine to get me through the morning at least.

Unlike coffee, though, black tea rarely leaves a lingering smell anywhere. That’s a big plus, I think. You don’t want to be smelling coffee all day. Trust me. My sister worked at Starbucks and as much as she loved coffee, having half her clothes smell like it really put her off the stuff for a while.

And speaking of tea…

Green Tea

South Texas is hot. I mean really hot. I mean… let me put it this way. It’s 9 PM and I’d rather stay inside because it’s still freakishly hot outside. When the wind blows, it feels like someone has a hairdryer aimed at your face. A hairdryer filled with hellfire. That’s wielded by a fire primordial.

Once summer gets here in full swing, though, things get downright nasty.

That’s why I get a pitcher, put four green tea bags in there, and fill it with hot (not boiling) water. Stick that bad boy in the fridge overnight and the next morning you have delicious iced green tea. It’s like liquid energy and awesomeness. A little sugar helps if you think tea in any form is too bitter, but I prefer it straight.

Afternoon Tea for One by ~regularjane on deviant ART

Like alcohol, though, be careful. I’ve actually cut my caffeine intake these last few months to maybe a cup or two a day if I need it. I was getting too jittery and on-edge. Cutting back meant a few days of sharp headaches as I detoxed from caffeine. I’ve also gotten into the joys of brewing the tea in a cast-iron pot my grandmother gave me. I could kill a raptor with that thing.

All in all, it’s a moderate tool that should be used with care.

And I type all this while on my second cup of tea for the day…

Well, link time!

Nathan Fillion is awesome… even if he did do this in his younger years.

Here’s proof that Rebecca Black is a sign of the End Times. Repent!

Jersey Shore has done a lot of things, among them convincing perfectly attractive young women that they need to look like a burnt Cheeto.

Here’s a wonderful visual to see how the Harry Potter characters have changed in the movies throughout the years. I think Neville grew a pair the size of Hogwarts between the first and last movies.

If you have a weak stomach, I recommend not looking at this mugshot of a jaw-less meth dealer.

Whoever wrote these emails is my new hero. It seems that in Australia, the Christian Right has found a way to infiltrate schools under the guise of counselors. This email exchange shows how one parent got his kid out of an Easter show and the results are… epic.

Wow. And they said it would never happen. I remember hearing rumors about Duke Nukem Forever since… well, they’ve always been there. It looks like this is it… and I still can’t finish Diego’s Story. See you Wednesday!

No Love for Faux-Artists

Apr 152011

April 15, 2011 Posted by Entropy Echo at 12:01 am April Tagged with: 8-bit theater, anti-matter, awesome, battleship, black mage, borders, bradley cooper, Bryan Ellis, cool, cupcake, fan, fanfic, fans, Friday, funny, images, jersey shore, jungle juice, laser, lesbians, live-action, paid, peter jackson, pics, preview, Rebecca black, remake, Rocky horror, rutgers, shepherd, sneak peak, snooki, song, space, spaceship, the crow, the hobbit, trailer, video, wave motion gun, winning, yamato 2 Responses »

It's funny because it's wasted youth and obsession that borders on psychosis...

April 15, 2011

I am done with the internet.

You know how I often say that education is the key to our society’s survival and how all opinions are just opions until you actually show evidence for why your point of view should be taken seriously?

Behold the ultimate argument for my philosophy.

That’s right. Someone went and got a Leave Rebecca Black Alone tattoo. Why? Because we shouldn’t judge her just because she’s 13 and released a crappy song.

Wrong.

I have EVERY right to criticize her. She paid for a music video and song and didn’t even have the talent to sing herself. She needed a little electronic help. If I were to publish Charcoal Streets tomorrow and I got a scathing review from the New York Times, I’d expect them to look at it if it got enough attention. I can’t believe I have to say this again…

When you throw your hat into the ring, you accept the consequences.

Rebecca Black + Justin Bieber by ~xDinoSkittlex on deviant ART

I’m not about to celebrate mediocrity just because someone tried. If Black had honestly tried, if she’d sung herself, if she’d written the lyrics, and if she’d endeavored to make something more than a masturbatory music video, I might cut her some slack. But no. She did nothing but show up for a recording session and a video shoot.

The guy that got that tattoo is going to regret it in three months. And if he doesn’t? He’s a bigger idiot than the people paying Snooki thousands of dollars to speak about her life.

No, I didn’t make that up. Rutgers is paying Snooki thousands of dollars to basically talk about herself and what it’s like to be Snooki. You know… what you can basically gleam from watching twenty minutes of Jersey Shore. To top it all off, this faux-tan piece of border-line alcoholism is going to get paid $100,000 dollars per episode of the new season of Jersey Shore.

Yeah, $100,000 to get drunk, act like an idiot, and hook up with random strangers.

Mona Snooki. by ~battlefate on deviant ART

“But it’s the American dream,” I can hear some of you say. “Sure, it’s more than twice what the average teacher makes in a year, and she’d be touching lives the same way an STD after-school special touches lives, but it’s the same thing, right?”

Yeah, if I may get a bit political, rewarding laziness and not contributing anything to society is basically the rallying cry of the GOP right now. “Don’t tax the right or watch corporations,” they say. You could make it one day, and would you want someone else taxing you and telling you that you have to pay more because you make more?

Yes. I do.

I don’t enjoy paying taxes. I really don’t. My biweekly paycheck could be so much sweeter if I didn’t get taxed, but if I make enough that I can pay the government $250,000 a year and I still have enough to buy Blue Label, travel Europe for the summer, and maintain a fleet of classic cars, I think I’ll be fine.

I am plain sick and tired of rewarding mediocrity and lavishing people who act like 5-year olds simply because they can. If Snooki and Rebecca Black didn’t have any publicity, they’d be attention whores who, in five years time, would be either in rehab or dead in a Motel 6 dumpster. Actually, they might get there even with the attention.

Little Attention Whore by ~Cyberfish on deviant ART

And if I’m overtly harsh, it’s because people who keep calling these two and people like them “artists” are REALLY starting to piss me off. And I rant about them because so many people seem to pay attention to them. Stop it. Stop giving them praise. Stop sharing their videos and antics just because they’re horrible.

You make it hard for people who are actually trying to do a good job.

Now let’s get some links to clean that aftertaste of tanning accelerate and your bowl of cereal.

I’ve got five more words. Sneak. Peak. At. The. Hobbit.

And four more. Well, five if you count… Okay never mind. Really. Cool. T-Rex. Costume.

Along the lines of “things too cool to believe,” here’s a guy that is apparently eating the greatest cupcake of all time. How great? Well, he’s oblivious to the world around him.

Any fans of 8-Bit Theater out there? Well, it appears that Black Mage has a new career now that the story is over.

Borders is facing some tough times, and the employees are going to get their chuckles while they still get a paycheck.

Any Rocky Horror fans out there will now all about the laser that fires anti-matter. Surprisingly, this is not as stupid as it originally sounded.

Speaking of greedy pricks that steal money, take a look at this wonderful article that details a tax proposal that not only makes sense, but would save our economy while making the rich pay for their fair share.

I have a lot of qualms with a remake of The Crow, but a remake staring Bradley Cooper? I’m out. All the way out. Wake me up when it’s over.

One more video for the weekend. I’ve got five more words for you, and a film that predates Star Wars and is the basis for endless tropes in the space opera genre and for some of my favorite childhood memories. Are you ready for this? Live. Action. Wave. Motion. GUN.

Gay for Truth and Vocabulary

Apr 132011

April 13, 2011 Posted by Entropy Echo at 12:01 am April Tagged with: africa, april fools, art, artist, awakening, bisexual, bosom, breasts, celebrities, conservative, epic, factual, first grader, funding, gay, GOP, helen mirren, homosexual tea party, ipad, jersey shore, Jon Kyl, language, lego, liberty university, movie, plagiarism, planned parenthood, prank, republican, scent, senator, sexual, smell, sodomy, statistic, tits, tower, trailer, unnatural, vice, withdrawal 6 Responses »

If you're offended by the picture, you should really question your life decisions.

April 13, 2011

Let’s get something out of the way before I start a nuclear-powered rant.

I love words. The written word, or even the spoken word, is the greatest tool at our disposal for the dissemination of emotions, opinions, and points of view. Visual art can sometimes do a better job, but the right construction of words, the right application of grammar and syntax, is a beautiful thing.

That being said…

To the far right movement in America… suck my electronic text, you slopped-forehead evolutionary throwbacks.

The internet, for all its faults, is a forum where anyone, ANYONE, can post an opinion, a piece of art, or just use the combined electronic advancements of the last fifty years to watch cats do funny things.

Three small, almost innocuous incidents caught my attention this morning. My dear enemies in the Far Right (oh, where would this site be without you) did three things that showed me that not only are they getting craftier, they are now intruding on the realm of words, the aether of logos, and I am going guns akimbo on them.

Nuclear Bear _Strahlebaerchi_ by *pilzwolke on deviant ART

Make “Gay” a Dirty Word

Please watch this video. It’s really short, but it shows just how desperate the Far Right is to make sure their agenda gets embraced by everyone instead of just white redneck hicks.

This is from “The Awakening” conference at Liberty University. Our dear speaker is going on about how “gay” implies an identity and how renaming it something else will give them edge.

Basically, he wants to make sure the Far Right phrases things in the context of “they must WANT to be gay.”

Among the more tasteful terms they wish to use to refer to homosexuality are – “Same-sex attraction,” “Same-sex intercourse,” “Sodomy,” and “Unnatural vice.” There could a whole article just on each of these, but let me say this.

“Gay” is about as dirty as “homosexual.”

If we need to just go back to scientific terms and refer to people as “homosexual,” “bisexual,” or whatever, fine. We’ll strip ALL the propaganda and tone form the conversation. Let’s see who wins.

And if we’re going to go around branding this graphically, allow me to be the first to stand up to the Caucasian vaginal penetration agenda.

Yeah, I said it.

Stand With Planned Parenthood by ~eclectic-acoustic on deviant ART

Fact Are Irrelevant to My Argument

Senator Jon Kyl has a very… interesting concept of the standard debate. After getting in front of the Senate and stating that we must defund Planned Parenthood because abortion is well over “90 percent of what Planned Parenthood does.”

I won’t go over the fact that this is a horrendously erroneous statistic, but whatever he might have said (he could have claimed ants invented Telemundo), the fact remains that the crux of his argument was the statistic. His office, though, responded by saying that his argument was not meant to be factual.

But the statistic was meant to illustrate a point…

But the point was the statistic…

But the statistic was made up…

I’m going to stop before I get sucked into a Möbius strip of stupidity.

Let that sink in for a moment. The argument that hinges on a false statement is still valid because… the statement was made. Yeah… I’m going to go ahead and state that Kyl is a pedophile who can’t get an erection unless he kills a dog, because, while not factual, it is relevant to my overall argument.

Ride the Tubes!

The Tea Party is getting some training in internet guerilla warfare. Watch:

Basically, they’re being told to blog, give out negative reviews to liberal films and documentaries, and otherwise clog the internet with as much conservative cholesterol as possible. This is not only a dirty tactic, it’s downright dishonest.

What would Jesus do? Would be comment on something without knowing what it was? Would he lie to hurt his enemies?

More to the point, what do they hope to accomplish by lying, but going to classes where the main purpose is to fool people? Lying can reveal truth if used properly, but to cheat and spew falsehoods for the sheer purpose of making someone else look bad, to spread “facts” you know to be wrong, is the lowest form of debate.

It’s not even debate. It’s sick.

antics number 157 by ~readmorebooks on deviant ART

There you have it, folks. The Far Right conservative movement. I really wish I could say it’s the FAR right, but this has some bleed-through to the regular conservative movement. Words have power, and if we let these self-righteous hypocrites hijack language, we lose. It’s that simple.

Link time!

Just because it might take a while to get good at something does not mean you get to pass off “amateur” as some sort of style.

It’s an old article, but take a look at the future of plagiarism.

Some celebrities have played for the other team, but only to experiment. Find out which made the list.

Three words: epic, Lego, tower.

it turns out that tech withdrawal is the same as drug withdrawal. Really? It makes sense on a certain level, but I hate that we’ve gotten to the point where technology really is the same as crack.

The Jersey Shore cast will be paid $100,000 per episode… $100,000 to get drunk and be stupid… I want to napalm New Jersey now.

George Takei just oozes awesome… and this ringtone proves it.

Helen Mirren is a great actress, a movie icon… and her breasts will take you to Heaven itself.

This has to be my favorite prank of the year. It takes a little ingenuity, but this news anchor got his co-anchor to lick an iPad.

And finally, while I’m not one to go for overtly sentimental films, this one about a poor, elderly villager who returns to school to learn to read got the teacher in me. I’d love to see it. That’s all for today. See you Friday!

Gay Bomb OR Why Republicans Love Genocide

Jan 052011

January 5, 2011 Posted by Entropy Echo at 12:01 am January Tagged with: a shore thing, america, bisexual, cartel, church, conservative, DADT, Don't ask don't tell, drug, gay, happy, homophobe, homophobia, homosexual, jersey shore, Katy Perry, la familia, lesbian, mexico, middle east, nerd, no make-up, nuclear, nuke, penguin, porn, republican, russia, sex, snookie, START Treaty, supermodel, transgender, war, weather control, zombie No Responses »

Just keep believing the narrative... just keep believing the narrative... just keep believing the narrative...

January 5, 2011

Are you gay? Bisexual? Thinking of changing teams after a drunken New Year’s night? Guess what? Republicans think you’re a bigger threat to this country than nuclear weapons in the hands of terrorists.

And no, that’s not hyperbole.

And if you don’t know what hyperbole means, here’s the link.

Last month, our government had to work to pass the START Treaty, a nice little piece of legislation from the Reagan era. You know President Reagan, right? He’s the patron saint of the GOP. They invoke him like a level one wizard uses magic missile. The treaty states that both Russia and America will lower their nuclear stockpiles and we will get to go to Russia and make sure their nuclear programs are working properly. This way, Jihad Bob doesn’t get his hands on a nuke and before we know it, Baltimore’s a dust cloud.

Physics Remain by *mrgraphicsguy on deviant ART

And guess what? Republicans would rather have a major American city turned into a sea of glow-in-the-dark glass than have dudes who want to marry dudes serve our country.

They held up ratification of the START Treaty, a treaty that would prevent nuclear war, because they didn’t want to pass the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. That’s right. They held one branch of government hostage and held a nuclear gun to the world’s head because the thought of gays in the military repulsed them.

Oh, they paraded out the usual excuses. John “War Hero” McCain went off on people who claimed that discrimination hurt the military. Over at Fox, they’ve done a real bang-up job of likening the repeal of DADT to some sort of Apocalyptic herald. And yes, I capitalized “Apocalyptic” because I think they really think this means we’re going to have oceans of blood soon.

Don’t believe me?

So there you go. I already hold nothing but contempt for the Republican Party. They are a bunch of knuckle-dragging backbirths. No sympathy from me. They were willing to put the nuclear safety of this country, perhaps the world, on the line just so gays could not openly serve in the military. They also did this to try and keep the Democrats from scoring political points like this was some giant game of Battleship.

I have no love for the Dems, but I have utter hate for Republicans.

They put out a ton of heavily questionable reasons to ban gays from the military, but since they’ve all been exposed to be phony posturing, we’re left with one conclusion.

At the End of All Things by ~L-nay on deviant ART

Republicans hate gays more than death itself. They would rather we get a few kilotons shoved up our butt than have gays serve our country and risk their lives. They would rather risk decades of deformity and nuclear fallout than risk openly gay men and women bolster our flagging recruitment numbers. They would rather that the population and infrastructure of an American city be destroyed in a ball of plutonium-fueled fire than have gays defend the Constitution Republicans themselves hold so dear.

The GOP has done some atrocious things in the past for the sake of political points, all hoping to just not let the Democrats do anything. This though, and the obligatory backlash to repeal the repeal, show the true face of the Grand Old Party.

Homophobes and bigots. If you’re a Republican, you have no business talking about compassion, common sense, and inclusion. And if you’re gay, bisexual, or transgendered, remember this. The Republicans believe you are more dangerous than nuclear weapons.

Nothing but unhinged contempt is required here.

No Homophobia by ~Lexee90 on deviant ART

And now, to clean the taste of Republican exposure out of your brain, here are the links!

Would you like your next sexual innuendo to be REALLY cool? Here’s a chart! Likewise, if you want to last longer with your significant other and you have a penchant for the scientific and philosophical, here’s a guide.

It looks like the cartels in Mexico are calling a month-long truce. I’m pretty sure this is a trap of some sort, but let’s see how it plays out.

Look, I’ve made no secret of my hatred for bad writing that gets put up like it’s some new standard to achieve… and I’ve worked hard at what I do… which makes it that much more infuriating when Snooki of all people gets a book deal just because she was on a show where she and a bunch of other D-bags made a whole state look bad. And it looks like she’s giving the great American writers a run for their money. And it saddens me that the sarcasm in the last sentence doesn’t translate well through text.

And speaking of the genetic landfill that is Jersey Shore, the Situation also has a book out. This has to be the greatest review ever.

Well, the Middle East can control the weather. I can’t wait for the right-wing nutjobs to get a hold of this one.

I never thought yarn could look this nerdy, but who can say “No” to Paul Atreides riding a sandworm totally made of yarn?

I always thought Katy Perry looked like a blow-up doll. The vacant eyes, the plastic figure… but take away the five inches of make-up and you’re left with an ordinary girl. Wow. Raise your hand if you didn’t see that coming from twelve parsecs away?

How can you make church-approved porn? Here’s a handy guide!

What’s the difference between a supermodel and a zombie? Well, here’s your answer.

And finally, here’s a video that made even ME smile. The happiest penguin ever. Take care, don’t forget to share the link, and I’ll see you Friday.