The Beatles, the Devil, and O’Reilly

Also, they don't have Social Security numbers.

November 10, 2010

It’s amazing the things you learn when you listen to people you disagree with.

It seems I’ve been a murderous psychopath for most of my life. After years of watching horror movies and seeing kids get dismembered, I finally snapped and went on a killing spree that left hundreds dead. The gore and viscera clung to my machete as I inspected the grim scene before me. Exposure to this one obviously isolated part of my life had turned me into a mindless killer.

It all made sense!


The Slasher by ~MisterMorgendorffer on deviantART

And then I stopped watching Fox and remembered how stupid Bill O’Reilly can be. For the last few weeks, he’s been going on about this “Muslim problem” in the world. It goes something like this: most of the foreign danger right now comes from terrorists who are Muslim. Therefore, Islam is contributing to our problems and those of other nations. Moderate Muslims are not speaking out, he says, and so the religion itself is the problem.

If you believe that, then you also believe we have a science problem, a white guy problem, a black guy problem, and a myriad of other problems in this country.

And by the way, moderate Muslims HAVE spoken out against extremists.

Taking a small sample of a whole and using it judge or make a generalization about the entire group is called what, folks? Racism? Stupid? It doesn’t matter. This is the mentality that takes isolated incidents and applies the resulting conclusions to the entire group. Minorities, art, and religion have all, at one time or another, been targets of this kind of myopic thinking.


Intolerance by ~klakier666 on deviantART

Let’s look at O’Reilly first. Yes, a lot of the people who are threatening the country right now are Muslim and they claim their religion is one of the main causes for this hatred. However, how many Muslims are there in the world? I think at last count it was close to a billion. Maybe more. And how many of them are plotting to kill us? A small fraction. The religion’s been perverted and twisted into something that most Muslims would never embrace and yet Bill here thinks it HAS to be the religion that’s the problem.

I guess it wouldn’t have made sense to claim that it was the brown skin that made them do it. Or the heat.

It’s the same way violent video games and movies keep getting blamed every time some kid grabs a gun or does something equally stupid, even if said kid says it’s something he saw in a game, or a movie, or something else. How many people watch horror movies every year in this country alone? How many people are playing Call of Duty, Halo, and other games where you can put a nice armor-piercing round through some n00b’s head?


Noob Rule 1 by ~guitaristburke on deviantART

Violent video games don’t make psychos any more than horror movies make killers or Islam creates mass-murderers. They just help give an excuse for the behavior. I’ve watched horror movies and played violent games for years and I’ve never done anything like this, and I guarantee that 99.9999% of the people who also do this share the same track record.

This also brings up a question artists need to ask themselves. What impact will our work have on the audience? There is no shortage of lunatics who claim to have been inspired by books, music, and movies. I’m sure Lennon and McCartney shuddered when Charles Manson said he was inspired by Helter Skelter. As I’m writing Charcoal Streets, I wonder if anyone will take some unintended message from my work. I wonder if someone will read “Designer Drug” and find justification for drug abuse. In the right light, any of these stories might trigger a very undesirable reaction in the right kind of individual.

I’m publishing them anyway.


book by ~AlphaONE666 on deviantART

There are really, really dumb people in the world. I mean, they make you feel like you could win a Nobel or edit Wikipedia for spelling errors in one hour. Take O’Reilly, for example. In his mind, he sees Muslims threatening us, so the religion must be the problem. Funny how he doesn’t think the economic collapse was a white guy problem or how the overcrowding in our prisons is a black and Hispanic problem.

Maybe he does. I don’t know.

It’s just safer to blame the minority, isn’t it?

All these excuses (religion, movies, books, music) tell us more about the person making the accusation than the actual work itself. I know more about O’Reilly than I do about Islam based on his remarks. I know more about people who say music speaks to them and tells them to kill or hate than I do about the music.

That’s the wonderful thing about actually listening to other people talk about their beliefs. They tell you so much without knowing it sometimes.


ignorance by ~magdaa0770 on deviantART

And now for something new. Rapid-fire news!

  • Speaking of the think-tank that is Fox News… I know I posted this on the Facebook page yesterday, but I had to repost it. Glenn Beck, who does not even understand the mechanism for evolution (whether he believes it or not) thinks he can explain QUANTUM PHYSICS to us and how it is part of the progressive conspiracy. This is a man who has admitted he does not have anything amounting to a formal education. People who do, people who spend their entire lives studying advanced physics and the workings of the universe still have trouble grasping some of these concepts and Glenn “I Learned in a Library” Beck thinks HE can do better?!
  • A straight couple was denied a civil union in what can only be described as the greatest blow to heterosexual couples since gay couples were allowed to marry in some parts of the world… Or something like that. See, the couple wants the legal benefits but not the “marriage” part. The British government says it can’t do that. So… it’s okay for gay couples, but not good enough for straight couples. How telling…
  • I like Dakota Fanning. I think she’s a good actress and, if she stays out of the Lohan-Olsen trail, she should do just fine. She’s also apparently awesome enough to be crowned homecoming queen twice. And she’s a senior at 16.
  • Are those healthy carrots just too full of vitamins and minerals for you? Fry the fraker and make carrot bacon!
  • I really don’t like using Macs. I’ll admit part of it is unfamiliarity with the system, but the other is the way you really have no control over fixing something broken short of sending it off somewhere. I like doing my own repairs. Anyway, this blogger apparently went from Mac to PC and found the experience… nice.
  • How can Optimus Prime possibly be any cooler? Could he ride a T-Rex into battle? Run for president? How about a steampunk-inspired Optimus Prime? He’s not just a truck… he’s a freakin’ TRAIN!
  • I keep talking about the coming robot apocalypse and how we seem to be helping it along… and now we find out that robots think humans are bacon. No lie. A robot designed to taste wine and food scanned a human and read it as pork. Yup. Forget about plugging us into the Matrix for fuel. The machines are just going to eat us.
  • Olbermann got suspended for making political contributions, was brought back, and started his show yesterday like THIS. I have my disagreements with the man, but I’ll say this… He knows how to do his job. That was hilarious.
  • And finally… I know this is three years old, but do you know a snooty rich wench who thinks she’s better than you because she’s white and married wealthy? Well, now you can teach her a few… important Spanish phrases to help with the illegal immigrants she hired. Trust me. It’s a Spanish lesson you don’t want to miss.

Divine by Zero: Birthday Bras, High School Werewolves, and Army Brownies

Welcome once again to Divine by Zero, the only place where you can hear an anarchic liberal with a weird accent ramble about the crazy things in life. A few things came my way these past few days, and I have to give full blame for one of them to Stephenie Meyer.

  • First and foremost, happy birthday to the bra. Yesterday, the bra celebrated 100 years. Ladies, raise a toast for this wonderful piece of underwear. And gentlemen, also raise a toast to this wonderful piece of underwear.

  • The army released the recipe for brownies it uses to make these tasty treats for the troops… and it’s 26 pages long. Apparently, if you follow the directions exactly, you can make brownies that last for years. Anyone want to try this and comment below to tell us how they taste?
  • Science Daily released a report that states that exposure to certain bacteria can actually make you smarter. Specifically, exposure to something called mycobacterium vaccae, a bacteria found in soil, can boost learning ability. I don’t buy this report at all. How can you explain nerds’ increased brain-power? We RARELY go outside! Sunlight burns.
  • And once again my state proves it’s on a crazy race with Arizona. In San Antonio, police arrested a man who had decals on his car that marked him part of the sheriff’s department in Baxar County but in the nation of the Republic of Texas. Police are charging the man with false identification, not impersonating a police officer. Why not charge him with the latter? Because doing so would mean that Texas officially recognizes the existence of the Republic of Texas, a make-believe country some die-hard conservatives here believe is the rightful nation in these parts. They don’t believe the “official” state laws apply to them and so just pretend they’re citizens of this Republic. It’d be like investigating Fox News for improper journalism. That would imply they actually do journalism.
  • We don’t hear a lot of good stories about the oil spill in the Gulf, but an 11-year-old in New York named Olivia Bouler has raised thousands of dollars by selling her drawings. There’s even a Facebook page about it. This is great because it shows the impact a single person can make on something as massive as this, but it also upsets me that a little girl’s drawings of birds have more fans on Facebook than I do… I somehow feel my manhood has been threatened… She must be stopped.
  • Speaking of funny/ horrifying things having to do with the spill, did you know the government employees in charge of inspecting the drilling were watching porn, drinking, and doing meth? Oh, and they were taking bribes, were childhood friends of the people who owned the rigs, and very likely have to kill puppies to reach climax.
  • Speaking of children, two brain trusts decided to give their baby Pop Rocks. How did it go? Well… just watch. This kid looks like he just walked in on his parents making him a little brother when the candy pops or something.

  • Republicans, meet the internet. We’re crazy. House Republicans set up a website a few days ago called America Speaking Out. The goal was to have everyday Americans suggest the course for policy so they wouldn’t feel like the Republicans were ignoring reality. Unfortunately, when you ask the internet for advice, you get advice like this.

“End Child Labor Laws […] We coddle children too much. They need to spend their youth in the factories.”

“How about if Congress actually do thier job and VET or Usurper in Chief, Obama is NOT a Natural Born Citizen in any way […] That fake so called birth certificate is useless.”

“A ‘teacher’ told my child in class that dolphins were mammals and not fish! And the same thing about whales! We need TRADITIONAL VALUES in all areas of education. If it swims in the water, it is a FISH. Period! End of Story.”

“English is are official langauge. Anybody who ain’t speak it the RIGHT way should kicked out.”

  • And finally… I know Stephanie Meyers is behind this. Somehow. A new trend in San Antonio schools is for kids to identify themselves as “werewolves.” I’m not making this up. They wear collars and identify with wolves. You HAVE to see this video to believe I am not just making things up.

That’s it for today. Stay tuned tomorrow, because some idiots on Facebook are launching “Everybody Draw the Holocaust Day” in response to “Everybody Draw Mohammed Day.” I wish I could say I didn’t have to explain why this is wrong… but I do.

Link and share, please.