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August 31, 2011
So Hurricane Irene was not the apocalyptic disaster the press made it out to be. The earthquake a few weeks ago did damage, but it wasn’t anywhere close to Japan’s damage. Still, both disasters caused damage and lives were lost. As a nation, we should look to these affected areas and at the very least hope the people there get the help and resources they need.
And wouldn’t you know it? Conservatives don’t like that sort of thing.
What? The American Right Wing is actually mad that tax dollars are being spent helping people who just suffered through a natural disaster? Surely, I speak lies!
No, my friend.
Summer storm by *Chris-Lamprianidis on deviantART
None other than Glenn Beck himself is outraged that the government is providing aid. No, seriously. See, in his mind, to accept help is to be weak and subservient. If the people in Vermont, for example, didn’t plan on what to do when horrendous flooding and winds destroyed their infrastructure, then they have no business asking their government to help. I wish I could make this up, but it’s true.
To top it off, Fox is having a field day asking if we even need The National Weather Service. That thing that lets us know when bad weather is coming? Since it doesn’t make money, it must not be doing its job. I guess since police departments and firefighters don’t bring in the big bucks for the government, either, we can get rid of them, too. At least we have Bill Nye defending it.
Finally, I wish I could be surprised at this, but Pat Robertson, who thinks Harry Potter is the emissary of the devil, and Michelle Bachmann, a woman so dumb that her argument about global warming could be destroyed by a second-grader, have taken the opportunity to use these disasters as a message from God.
Buchannan claims that the damage from the earthquake, a tremor that cracked the Washington monument, is akin to the split curtain in the Gospels. God is mad at us for what we’re doing, for our liberal policies. Bachmann claims the hurricane is a sign from God that we need to cut back spending and embrace GOP economic policies.
Are you there God? by =Phatpuppyart on deviantART
Maybe it’s just me, but out of ALL the problems in the world and the nearly 6.7 billion people on the planet, could the hurricane and earthquake be for something else? Maybe it’s God telling New Jersey to do something about The Situation. Maybe sharks swimming through streets in Puerto Rico is a sign telling them there are enemies in their midst. Maybe having millions of people without power is a sign that we need to go back to nature and embrace neo-Luddism.
Or maybe all these people are trying to profit out of the misery and death and chaos created by shifting global climate patterns.
Remember, folks. When you think a hemisphere-spanning event relates specifically to you, that’s called “rampant narcissism,” otherwise known as “votes Republican.”
ignorance. by ~freckledmystery on deviantART
