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Aug 092012
 

Is this the face of the Tea Party? Or a Medieval set of stories adapted through the centuries that have now been twisted to serve a pill-popping madman?

August 9, 2012

Limbaugh’s setting a new record for most dumb things said in a single month. Between his claim that The Dark Knight Rises is some sort of slam against Romney and the claim that liberals are somehow trying to make football illegal, he’s wandered into literary territory.

As a writer, I take particular offense to this. Just watch and see if your head doesn’t shoot blood from every pore.

Rush claims that people don’t understand the story of Robin Hood. He fought the government, he says. Most people, according to Limbaugh, think that Robin Hood just stole from the rich to give it to Maid Marian. It’s a lie, Limbaugh cries! He was stealing from the government! That makes him a Tea Party activist. Robin Hood, Limbaugh proudly claims, was anti-taxes.

I see about fifty things wrong with Limbaugh’s analysis, the key one being that he’s still somehow on the air and people are listening to him.

His analysis of Robin Hood as a Tea Party activist, however, is deeply flawed. Let me just say that what we consider the mythology of Robin Hood is actually a composite of various ballads and stories. There is no “definitive” story, but there are various early stories that have laid the path for the modern, popular incarnation. Here’s what can be pieced together.


Limbaugh by ~OblivionSoul327 on deviantART

Sources differ on whether Robin Hood was a commoner or a member of the aristocracy, though the modern portrayal shows him as a man who’s been wronged by Prince John and seeks to reclaim his family’s honor and land. It wasn’t until the 16th century that Robin Hood was given a definitive setting: the 1190’s, when King Richard I fought in the Crusades. There are various references to Robin stealing from the rich and giving to the poor in the original stories, but the general idea was there.

In fact, in popular culture, he stole from a group of aristocrats who made themselves rich by overtaxing the common people. In a way, Limbaugh is right in that Robin Hood was anti-tax, but he’s massively wrong to claim he’s a Tea Partier. The Tea Party, for all its claims that it’s standing up for the little people and the common man, is a branch of Koch Industries. The Tea Party may believe it’s helping the middle class, but the result of their actions are to give MORE power and money to the wealthy. It’s a fact, if we look at an America ruled by the Tea Party, that the results are not good for anyone except rich white Christian fundamentalist men.

Say goodbye to healthcare, police, firefighters, voting rights, education, social security in all its forms, and say hello to surveillance, limited marriage, and corporations that will rule over us like Prince John and his ilk who answer to no one and enforce the laws they see fit. Be sure you buy a gun, because law enforcement and gun regulations are a thing of the past.


The Three Rs by ~poasterchild on deviantART
Tea Partier? Please. Robin Hood would have marched with Occupy. The rich abused and took money from the poor. Robin Hood fought to get that money back and depose those who stepped on the backs of others to get their power. If we’re going strictly by the popular, modern incarnation, as I’m sure Limbaugh is doing since I’m certain he’s not looking up manuscripts stating “Robyn hode in scherewode stod,” he’s obviously never actually seen a Robin Hood movie or TV show.

This is typical of many Right Wing analogies. They lack either context or they deliberately remove one part of the analogy to make sense. Or, like Steve King recently did, they completely lie about what they’re talking about. This is what got me back when Glenn Beck was still on Fox. He kept using movie metaphors like comparing the Tea Party to the heroes in everything from Terminator to It’s a Wonderful Life. He, like Limbaugh, has no clue how to analyze literature or films and misses the important context clues.

If Limbaugh were my student and gave me this kind of analysis, I wouldn’t fail him because I disagreed with his political views. I would flunk him because he seemingly got his plot synopsis from a third-rate SparkNotes knock-off and looked at the story with all the clarity of a particularly nearsighted bat.

Let’s wash away the grating sound of literature dying by watching really bad drivers.

Mar 122012
 

This is one of the faces of evil. The guys who made him famous last week? They're the faces of unabashed capitalism.

March 13, 2012

A week ago, the Kony 2012 video swept the internet and millions of people posted status updates, shared their views on the tragedy in Africa, and for a while, it seemed everyone was heartbroken over the rape, slaughter and inhumanity perpetrated by this man.

I didn’t buy it.

Not that I didn’t think this was all going on. Far from it. These kinds of war crimes have been going on for years, and we were lucky enough to host a former child soldier at TAMIU who shared his story with us. It’s heartbreaking, to be sure, but something about the Kony 2012 video didn’t smell right. Fighting a warlord by making him popular?

It’s like saying we can beat Al-Qaeda if more people knew about them.


KONY 2012 by ~Friiggi on deviantART

It wasn’t long before others came out and put holes in the video and Invisible Children itself. In short, the organization has had some shady dealings and most of the money goes to the three founders, for travel, and filmmaking. The money that does go to Africa? The organization actually funds the Ugandan military which may or may not be guilty of the same crimes they’ve pinned on Kony.

The video is a 30-minute long commercial for a filmmaker. It’s a non-profit goal kind of how making Avatar was an effort to make the world environmentally conscious. Somewhere, James Cameron is wiping his butt with hundred dollar bills.

It’s not your fault if you didn’t know all this. It took a few days for the information to get out, but there’s a reason some of us waited before saying anything. Things have been bad in Africa for a long time. That’s no secret. It doesn’t get covered in the West as much as it should so when something like Kony 2012 comes along, it almost seems like there has been an explosion of violence where there was none before. We feel guilty for not having paid attention.

Good.


KONY SCAM by *ramworship on deviantART

But that’s no reason to throw support at a campaign without really knowing what the campaign is about. In this country, we had millions line up to participate in the Tea Party without anyone really knowing until years later that the so-called grassroots movement was actually funded by the Koch Brothers, two men who have worked for decades to promote a highly conservative and fundamentalist agenda, work to dismantle unions, deny global climate change, and lobby for gas, oil, and chemical companies.

In both cases, the same thing happened: someone offered something positive and tugged at the heart. It appealed to emotion. Don’t get me wrong, though. I think we should do all we can to help Uganda. I think the Lord’s Resistance Army is one the great evils of our time.

My criticism lies solely on the people who sold the video to us as a way to help and what they do with the support they get. Our perception of what they wanted to do is great. Let’s stop suffering. What they actually do, though…

It’s using a tragedy to better their own business. Frankly, it’s sick.

For the sake of preventing something like this from happening later, let me lay out what I do with YOUR support, views, hits, and ads.

I pay the rent. I have internet. On the weekends, I buy a case of beer for our D&D games. I have a fiancé whom I wish to support. I have a few thousand dollars of debt for student loans and credit cards that need to get paid off. I’m trying to become a fully independent contractor by writing gaming manuals, novels, and selling artwork. In an ideal world, that would be my sole job. Any support I receive is to achieve that goal.

There’s my full disclosure.

And now, to clean up that much vileness, here’s the greatest Magic the Gathering freak-out ever. Folks, please remember it’s just a game.

Jan 232012
 

Proud patriots! All of them. And none owned slaves*

January 23, 2012

I am not part of American history. My ancestors fought and toiled and help build this country into the superpower it is today. Two hundred years ago, slaves built this country on orders of men who claimed everyone was equal. The vast expanse of our nation was cleared of the indigenous populations to make room for a newly born democracy. The thousands who died so colonists would have free land are now remembered with shame. While America has many great qualities, its history is filled with blood and hypocrisy. It’s not that we can’t be better, but to ignore the past is to live a lie.

That lie, it seems, is preferred for the Tea Party. Go figure.


FRANKLIN by *INFPartist on deviantART

In Tennessee, the Tea Party is trying to remove all mentions of slavery and genocide from American history. Why? To make the Founding Fathers look good. According to the so-called patriots:

The material calls for lawmakers to amend state laws governing school curriculums, and for textbook selection criteria to say that “No portrayal of minority experience in the history which actually occurred shall obscure the experience or contributions of the Founding Fathers, or the majority of citizens, including those who reached positions of leadership.”

Fayette County attorney Hal Rounds, the group’s lead spokesman during the news conference, said the group wants to address “an awful lot of made-up criticism about, for instance, the founders intruding on the Indians or having slaves or being hypocrites in one way or another.

“The thing we need to focus on about the founders is that, given the social structure of their time, they were revolutionaries who brought liberty into a world where it hadn’t existed, to everybody — not all equally instantly — and it was their progress that we need to look at,” said Rounds, whose website identifies him as a Vietnam War veteran of the Air Force and FedEx retiree who became a lawyer in 1995.

Let that sink in. We want to tell the truth about our country’s history. But the truth is only whatever these clowns want to tell. “Truth,” then, is a purposely distorted view of history that leaves out parts the Tea Party doesn’t even contest are false. In the same breath where they whine about distortions, they want to leave out key facts they acknowledge to be true. I have written about this before, and I’m glad Tennessee is continuing the grand tradition Texas began of dumbing down education for the sake of politics and ideology.


WW2 – The Golden Age of Propaganda – No. 8 by ~violinmerchant on deviantART

There is, of course, a difference between “facts” and “truth.” A fact is a universally accepted piece of evidence. Was JFK shot? Yes. Did the Founding Fathers have slaves while they wrote “all men are created equal”? Yes. Do Michael Bay movies almost universally suck? That’s a given.

“Truth” is what you make out of the facts, and the more facts you have, the better the “truth” becomes. It was once truth that the sun revolved around the Earth. We worked with the fact that sun moved through the sky and we didn’t feel we were moving. Eventually, we learned more facts and the truth become more complex, culminating with our current cosmological models.

If we cut enough facts for convenience, we can make any argument.

Jeffrey Dahmer was a great cook persecuted for his unorthodox lifestyle.

Bush developed a strategy that good troops into the Middle East and secured much-needed oil, helping American businesses.

Stephanie Meyer wrote a series of books praised by millions.

Newt Gingrich would be a great president because he is charismatic and women love him.

That last one, by the way, has also been argued.

I wish I could stop being surprised at crap like this. I wish I could say I wasn’t shocked to hear that someone wanted to stifle actual education and replace it with a political agenda. The sheer blatant lie, the fact that the Tea Party wants to lie about history and is up-front about it because they don’t like what actually happened, shouldn’t shock me like this.

I guess that’s what I get for still having faith in my countrymen.

Let’s wash all that bad mojo with Liam Neeson fighting wolves. He truly can make anything ten times more awesome.

Sep 282011
 

Empathy and compassion? That won't save the world... Now COLD HARD CASH on the other hand...

September 28, 2011

Compassion is perhaps one of the greatest characteristics anyone can have. It’s what helps us build communities beyond our family. Compassion allows us to empathize with others, to see past our own greed and self-interest, and give help to those who need it.

As you can imagine, the Republican Party wants none of that.

And I’m not talking in hyperbole. Republicans genuinely believe that compassion for others is a sign of weakness. For a party that is so entrenched in American religious demographics, they have a funny way of showing it. In Texas, one of the most red states in the union, we’ve done away with last meals for death row inmates. Why? At first, it seemed as if it was a cost issue. After all, the last straw seemed to be an outlandish meal served to a man convicted of a hate killing.

Of course, the rationale had nothing to do with cost. It was about principle, said Texas Senator John Whitmore. I’ll admit that giving this particular inmate any sort of accommodation irks me, but there is enough uncertainty in the practice of executing prisoners that the smallest bit of compassion should be ruled out. Enough people have been found innocent at the last minute. Texas has executed prisoners and is proud of it. Our own governor got cheers when he said he never loses sleep over an execution.

And people wonder why we didn’t actually put our state motto on the license plates.

It’s “Friendship,” by the way, but good luck actually finding a Texan that knows that.


Death Row by ~skastonishing on deviantART

On the other side of things, Republicans seem positively giddy at the prospect of people dying from a lack of heath care. Ron Paul received cheers when Brain Williams asked if people should be allowed to die simply because they cannot afford insurance. The audience cheered and Paul didn’t give an answer so much as he went on and on about not giving people aid is the most compassionate thing we could do.

Let that sink in. Not offering aid to people, doing things like taking away social security, Medicare, and Medicaid so the poor and elderly die on the streets, is the best thing we could do for them, because letting them die like dogs lets them live the full extent of the choices they made regardless of external factors.

Yeah…


Somebody’s watchin’ me by =GenkiGoth on deviantART

But then, of course, you have Rush Limbaugh. The man is an institution. Or he has enough mass for orbiting satellites. Either way, he takes the cake. Listen to this:

If you skipped it because you were afraid the sound of Limbaugh’s voice might curdle all the milk within two hundred feet of you, he flat-out said that compassion has crippled us as a society. Then he went into full projection mode and claimed Democrats want an ignorant, poor society, ignoring the fact that progressives often champion things such as more education.

Seriously, though, if you can, just listen to this man. Compassion hurts us because we give to those who have nothing and make them dependant. I’m sure Rush would also argue against life guards since helping someone who is drowning robs the victim of the chance to really learn how to swim.

There are times when it is appropriate to show compassion. Being humble, knowing that we might be wrong, is what keeps us grounded. Allowing someone to die when we can, as a society, help that person is cold. It may seem “rational” to give everyone the freedom to die if they lack the thousands of dollars it takes to treat a disease, but it’s not freedom. “Compassion” is not a weakness. It’s what seperates us from animals that just hang around for the sake of survival.

And even though I don’t know if this guy is a Republican, I’m just going to thrown him in with the rest of these evolutionary throwbacks. Why? He explains why traders actually look forward to the economy collapsing and how they don’t want a balanced economy; they want chaos to make more money.

Jerks.

Sep 052011
 

How dare you get along with others and express sympathy for their views?!

September 5, 2011

Okay, so I didn’t figure out this week’s Weekly Muse. I actually feel really bad about that. You stumped me, dear reader, so hopefully I’ll figure out the new set of suggestions.

In the meantime, let’s talk about racial slurs. Grab the popcorn, kids. This is going to be fun, and it features my favorite clown, Becky Boy.

This little rant starts off with some pretty general advice. Be true to yourself, know who you are, and stand for what you believe even as you are pushed by the world to believe something else. Nothing wrong there… and then it goes into strange territory that makes basic logic look like a Lovecraftian nightmare.

Beck claims that when people come after you for your beliefs, they are using radical leftist strategies like Saul Alinsky. He says that when someone tries to correct you or make you think something else besides the truth (the truth being determined by whether or not said belief is held by the Tea Party), that person should be ignored at all costs.

And as you know, Beck had a neat little rally in Israel and followed it up with tours of Africa and South America. Suffice to say, Beck comes across as the kind of man who’s probably still mystified by things like the Civil Rights Movement and all those pesky brown people asking for things “normal” Americans have.


Racism. by ~benjaminheymann on deviantART

It started when he and his co-hosts, Thing 1 and Thing 2, asked how silly they felt calling blacks “African Americans” when they traveled to other countries.

Beck: “How can people be one thing in one country and nowhere else in the world?”

Cohost 1: “That’s such a great point. What are you supposed to say? Is there a… what is the acceptable term?”

Cohost 2: “We don’t know. We don’t know-”

Beck: “Black. Black.”

Cohost 2: “African British? African-”

Beck: “BLACK! BLACK!”

Let’s back up for a moment. You don’t call blacks “African American” in other countries because they’re not IN AMERICA. Enigma solved.

Secondly, there isn’t ONE term for any group. Some people prefer “African American” because they’d like to identify with that part of their heritage. The same goes for anyone who is Mexican American, Iraqi American, German American, Irish American, whatever. It’s an option, and I understand some people don’t like to think in those terms. They call themselves “American” because that’s how they see themselves. Fine. It’s their choice, and if I called someone “African American” and was chastised for doing so, I would just apologize.

There’s a similar social problem with my particular sociological group. I call myself “Mexican American” because I’m a first-generation immigrant. I’m a citizen. I also call myself “Hispanic,” although this is mostly related to race, not nationality. Two or three generations down, if my descendants live in this country, I would have no problem if they just called themselves “Hispanic.”  Why? It’s a description of who and what they are.

But Beck and company act as though we’re somehow forced to use the term “African American,” like it’s some kind of federal standard. But let’s keep going as they actually manage to show ignorance of basic tact.

Cohost 1: “Just like ‘white,’ you’d think that-”

Beck: “It’s BLACK. In South America… I mean South Africa, it’s ‘black’ and ‘colored.’ I don’t remember the difference, but there is a difference. One is…”

Cohost 2: “One is indigenous, the other comes from somewhere else.”

Beck: “Yes, and I don’t remember which one’s which, but I think even ‘Indian’ came in. I think it was also like ‘colored’ that meant ‘Indian’ or elsewhere.”

They actually acknowledge that different terms mean different things, that they’re used to refer to different people based on background… and about ten seconds later, they go ahead and ignore that. Pay attention, though. They’re starting to show hints of disgust at people identifying as something other than what these three morons think is acceptable.

Behold the kind of myopic stupidity that usually requires a full-frontal lobotomy.

Cohost 1: “But we have been taught here that ‘colored’ is really a bad thing to say, ‘cause, ‘What color are they?’ Well, okay, so you got us to stop saying that, but in other parts of the world, they still do.”

Beck: “Yeah, and it’s NOT a bad thing! Only here! Why are we made to feel bad? Notice this? ‘African American’ wasn’t made to do anything except try to create a superman. ‘Oh, don’t you try to feel bad about yourself! You’re African American!’ No, you’re an American. Instead of building the country up and saying, ‘Lookit! We all have the right here in this country. Look what might happen with Martin Luther King. That makes you an AMERICAN. Judge not by the color of your skin.’”

I’m actually still trying to figure out what Beck was trying to say in this little ramble. One thought flows into another like a concrete truck into a brick wall. He complains that “African American” is some term designed to make people feel good about themselves, yet he’s one of the major proponents of American exceptionalism, the belief that America is great just because it is America. If you follow the link, you’ll see how racially tinged these believes can get.

And “African American” has nothing to do with skin color. It’s a description of background. Technically, Charlize Theron is African American. That’s her background. And now Beck turns in the insensitivity dial to 11.

Beck: “And you weren’t over in Africa! Your great-great-grandfather was. Your great-great-great-grandfather may have been, but you weren’t! And sure this country SUCKED for blacks. BEYOND sucked! For a long time. But it doesn’t now. It doesn’t now. Be proud to be an American.”

I really don’t know what position Beck holds any more. He keeps saying our country is great, yet he’s ranted about how crappy it’s become. It’s like he’s gorging on cake while complaining it tastes like crap.

Oh, and that bit about blacks having had a hard time? Well, you wouldn’t know it from his show, since he’s talked about how slaves had it nice back in the day. Really.

Cohost 2: “I’ve always felt it’s such an insult. The idea of ‘African American.’ That they for some reason need to have-”

Beck: “Special help.”

Cohost 2: “Not even special help, just a distinction as if they’re different from us. They’re Americans just like us. Hundred percent Americans. They deserve every right, and they have the same responsibility everyone else has.”

Us? Who is “us?” There is no such thing as “average American.” There isn’t, so I can only assume that Cohost 2 thinks whites are the standard American model. It’s like that idiot student in California who said Asians should we glad we let them study at “our” university, as if whites were the standard by which all Americans are judged.

And now Beck shows his hand and we get to the real complaint.

Beck: “The thing is… it makes people afraid. That’s the key. It makes other people afraid. If we’re afraid to say something, and we all are, you’re afraid to say something because you don’t want to offend- Americans are good. Americans are kind. Not all of them. But we are great because we are good. Why do you think we said ‘handicapable’? Because we don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. They’ve been using this! It’s our Achilles heel! Have. No. Fear. Dismiss these ‘human rights’ frauds!”

And there it is! It’s not that he’s upset people are being labeled or that labels exist. It’s because he somehow thinks that “they” have made “us” use terms like “African American” so we don’t offend anyone.

Here’s the problem. The word “colored” is pretty offensive to a lot of people. It has connotations of a Jim Crowe era. And Beck knows why we use certain terms. He’s discovered the liberal conspiracy.We’re trying to be police thought by using appropriate terminology. And we’re so gorram nice that we fall for things like taking into account cultural and personal sensitivities. How dare we not call them black “colored”? They have color, right?

Note how Beck and company don’t actually understand why the word “colored” is offensive. They just wonder why we don’t all have one word we can use when referring to a particular group. That’d be nice, right? Having a nice, standardized way to strip culture and self-identity, having society determine who and what we are based on government affiliation?

And if you believe that, please register with the nearest Tea Party group. They have some nice tin foil for you to make your new set of hats.


Racism by ~SmartCync on deviantART

Aug 262011
 

I would have written something funnier if I weren't so exhausted.

August 26, 2011

Beck finally held his much-lauded rally in Jerusalem. He had a few hundred people there, judging by the photos. He went into full televangelist mode. He said he’d be bringing his message to other continents and that anyone who chose to follow him in his quest might be killed by the liberal progressicommunazi conspiracy.

The weirdest part, though, was his unveiling of his Declaration of Rights and Responsibilities, a manifesto that just begs a closer look. It’s 1,227 words that, well, tell us so much about this man and the people who think like him. Let’s start at the beginning, shall we?

I’ve taken the liberty of copying it word for word so you don’t have to go to his site and give him more page hits.

As the American Declaration of Independence clearly states, when in the course of human events it becomes necessary for people to band together and collectively declare their rights and responsibilities to which the laws of nature and nature’s God entitle and bind them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should disclose the causes which impel them to such.

Okay, so like any manifesto, we’re going to outline how we got here. Makes sense. After all, Beck seems to be the only one who sees the vast web of conspiracies in everything from skin cream to schools. Let us continue.


beck scoundral by *sketchoo on deviantART

Therefore let us declare that we still hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal and are endowed by our creator with certain inalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. But with those rights come responsibilities.

Nice historical allusion. Okay, I’m with him so far. We have rights. True. We also have responsibilities. We have to go to jury duty. We have to pay taxes. We have to vote. Nothing crazy so far.

In order to continually experience life, liberty and happiness as promised, nature’s God demands obedience to His law to protect those rights. This is where we have fallen short and therefore, in order not to lose the blessings of freedom, the people of the world must turn from the sole focus on rights, and recognize the inherent and required responsibilities that we have.

Aaaaaaand hello, Crazy Town. Rights come ONLY from God, folks. That’s the argument. Our rights are not simply there. God can take them away. Let that sink in for a moment. That right to worship as you choose, read and say what you want, and not be a slave? That’s from the same God who made the infidels drink gold, has followers who wish to censor literature, and advocated the owning of slaves won in times of war.

Among the responsibilities to which we must adhere to maintain our God given rights are honor, courage and vigilance.

You know, what? I’m going to say it. He missed a hyphen.

Over time, we believe that these basic human responsibilities have been trampled, and replaced with degradation, fear and apathy.

And this is a passive sentence. Who or what replaced these responsibilities? Also, you put an extra comma after “trampled.”

Bastard.


Possible Sarcasm Punctuation by ~Tailsfan95 on deviantART

 

But when a long train of abuses of the people and conscience by the media and by other segments of society, pursuing the same path of reducing them to ridicule, scorn and even sub-human status, it is their right, it is their DUTY, to peacefully, but vehemently take a stand.

Men want to be king, and the more we concentrate on our rights and the more we are told not to worry about our responsibilities, the more we lose our rights.

Actually, the more we focus on our rights, the more we see when said rights are abused. As it stands, we really don’t have to do anything to keep our rights. Even Beck himself has admitted that the Civil Rights Movement is over since we in the West have all the rights we want. They cannot be taken from us unless the Amendments themselves get rewritten, so what does Beck mean by “the more we lose our rights?”

He and the Right in America have been constantly called out for the bigoted, anti-science, anti-progress, anti-poor myopic idiots that they are. They want to bolster the rich and crush the poor. They want to make it possible to once again treat people like crap just because you worship one god and they worship another. They want the right to treat employees like servants. They want the right use religion to dictate law.

But moving on…

Just as physics show, for every action there’s an equal and opposite reaction. The time has come to declare that at least for the western world human rights are generally accepted and moving in the right direction however a new movement is required a movement of human responsibility.

Punctuation punctuation punctuation… *headasplode*

The media, politicians and large institutions both academic and political have been lying to us, and we must demand the truth be told.

With that demand, comes the responsibility that we tell the truth first, in ourselves. Too many of us delegate our responsibility to the media…and too many believe there is no personal responsibility at all.

Okay, I think I’m nitpicking now, but does ANYONE working for Beck know how to use a fraking coma?!

By the way, the line about people delegating their responsibility to the media? Guess which network continually boasts to be the top-watched network in the country? I’ll give you a guess. It’s the same network that doesn’t know the difference between journalism and opinion and couldn’t care less about journalistic integrity.


Old fashioned journalism by ~artifexa on deviantART

 

Political correctness has polluted our language and clouds our every discussion.

What was once accepted as good and right, is now considered bad and evil, and that which was bad and evil is now presented to the world as good and decent.

I could not follow on a boat. I could not follow with a goat. I could not understand you, Glenn. I want to stab you with a pen. You cannot use a comma. Your rants are full of drama.

Doctor Seuss, I ain’t. I hate when people make a blanket statement like this. I’d like to know when evil became decent, for one. I’d like an example. What was the point in which we thought, for example, that murder was acceptable? Theft? Racism? Anything? Anyone?

Opposing thoughts or opinions are referred to as crazy, insane, non-factual and utterly without merit. Furthermore, we are told, they should not even be heard.

Who said this? Who said we should not have ideas out on the field? If he’s talking about creationism (and he has), then he’s right. It should not be taught as a science because it is a religious idea.

Of course, he could also be referring to the fact that his own attacks on progressive policies have constantly been debunked by the simple fact that Beck refuses to use simple things like research.

Now, the time has come to take a stand by exhibiting the traits – honor, courage and vigilance.

What is honor? It is being honest in all of our dealings. It is showing loyalty and fairness, and being a beacon of integrity in all our beliefs and actions. It is showing respect for others.

Ruth honored Naomi when she told her that she would not leave her. That she would go wherever Naomi went, that she would live where Naomi lived and die where Naomi died. Her God would be Naomi’s God.

To be fair, that’s not honor so much as it is loyalty.

Courage is the ability to face danger, criticism or scorn – not without fear, but while overcoming fear to deal with that which comes our way.

When no one else in the Kingdom wanted to face the mighty giant, Goliath, young David was willing. David must have felt fear at the sight of his foe, but overcame it, and courageously vanquished his enemy.

Vigilance is being watchful for all forms of treachery and tyranny, lies and deceit. The person in the watchtower, waiting all night, suddenly sounding the alarm that the enemy is coming. The careful observer of the markets and economies who proclaims to the world, all is not well, there is trouble ahead and the outspoken critic of the powerful, going against societies’ grain, warning that all is not as we’re being told. These are the vigilant.

So the people who call you and others like you out because you’ve poisoned the political discourse are vigilant? They’re not, you know… your enemies?

This is actually kind of funny. Beck is asking people to pay attention to the world around them and tell others what they are doing. At the same time, Beck has asked his own viewers to look at progressive websites and monitor them. But not conservatives, because that would be wrong. The problem is that they don’t call out Beck himself when he almost causes an international incident. They don’t call him out when he is part of an effort to keep health insurance from the hands of 98% of the population. He wasn’t called out when he said things so offensive that he galvanized the Jewish community against him.

So, if his viewers are so vigilant, why do they keep missing all this?


Patriotism by ~raun on deviantART

 

We implore all people to stand with these characteristics – honor, courage and vigilance.

To that end, we must restore honor in our own lives. Seek after the truth. Declare right now, that no longer will we simply accept what is told us by the media or anyone else.

The media has the responsibility to tell the truth, we have the responsibility to learn it.

Stand with courage, even if it means the end of our jobs, the end of our positions in life…or even the end of our very lives.

Here we go…

We are not at some point where we must risk life and death to tell the truth. You want truth? There are actual journalists out there covering news around the world. Anyone with an internet connection can report what is seen and heard around the world. Are there tyrannical regimes and groups that would kill to suppress the truth? Of course.

But Beck is not in danger. Neither are we. We live in a country where we can say what we want.

The only people in danger are the people Beck targets with his rhetoric. No, really. His theories and monologues have gotten people killed.

We must have the courage to be peaceful, while recognizing the courage to defend and respond to threats and/or attacks when necessary.

Turn the other cheek when possible.

I want someone to find me ONE instance of Beck doing this. Please.

We must be vigilant. We must think the unthinkable. The holocaust occurred because no one could imagine it, but evil never sleeps, and neither must we.

No, Beck. The holocaust occurred because Germany was looking for a scapegoat and Jews were, historically, a minority blamed for everything from economic strife to the theft of Christian babies. It occurred because we didn’t have instant media like we do today and could not know what was happening on the other side of the world. It occurred because fundamentalist radicals got power and pushed a Right-wing agenda that focused on war and the delusional belief that their patriotism made them right. They believed they were doing God’s work.

As Edmund Burke said, “all that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.” We must DO something. Stand watch. Speak up. Become involved.

“Sign up! Buy gold! Follow me! Give me your money!”


Preacher Man by ~JamesBirkbeck on deviantART

 

Thus, we the people do hereby declare not only our rights, but do now establish this bill of responsibilities.

1. Because I have the right to choose, I recognize that I am accountable to God and have the responsibility to keep the 10 commandments in my own life.

Religious rules that should apply to the rest of us? Sign me up, Glenn!

2. Because I have the right to worship as I choose, I have the responsibility to honor the right of others to worship as they see fit.

Okay, so now it’s clear. This is only for Christians. Just Christians. Got that? All you dirty heathens can go now.

3. Because I have freedom of speech, I have the responsibility to defend the speech of others, even if I strongly disagree with what they’re saying.

Exhibit A. Beck yells at a caller to shut up.

4. Because I have the right to pursue happiness, I have the responsibility to show humility and express gratitude for all the blessings I enjoy and the rights I’ve been given.

Exhibit B. Beck goes on, and on, and on about he is an anointed prophet of God.

5. Because I have the right to honest and good government I will seek out honest and just representatives when possible. If I cannot find one then I accept the responsibility to take that place.

Exhibit C. Beck insists politics in this country have divided us… yet he’s never expressed a desire to seek office.

6. Because I have the God given right to liberty, I have the personal responsibility to have the courage to defend others to be secure in their persons, lives and property.

Exhibit D. Beck has attacked groups that help the poor and less fortunate.

7. Because I have the right to equal justice, I will stand for those who are wrongly accused or unjustly blamed.

Exhibit E. This is the same as an earlier link, but Beck smeared Nivea because he thought the company was siding with Palestine against Israel. When confronted with an explanation, he continued to smear them.

8. Because I have the right to knowledge, I will be accountable for myself and my children’s education…to live our lives in such a way that insures the continuation of truth.

Exhibit F. Beck’s “university” is filled with instructors who wouldn’t be able to pass basic logic tests for lab rats. He actually touts self-education as something on par with an actual education where you interact with people who, you know, have spent their lives studying something.

9. Because I have the right to pursue my dreams and keep the fruits of my labor, I have the responsibility to feed, protect and shelter my family, the less fortunate, the fatherless, the old and infirm.

Exhibit G. Beck wants to defund FEMA and basically roll back every major social welfare program of the last century.

10. Because I have a right to the truth, I will not bear false witness nor will not stand idly by as others do.

Exhibits H through Z… I just don’t have the time to summarize them all. Beck is a master of the falsehood. Do you want to know how to know when he’s lying? He opens his mouth and words come out.


You tell all those LIES… by ~simplyxinsane on deviantART

Unconditionally, while maintaining my responsibility to compassionately yet fiercely stand against those things that decay the natural rights of all men. And for the support of this declaration, and with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence we mutually pledge to each other our lives, fortunes and sacred honor.

Okay, I am officially exhausted. The only reason I talk about him is because, even without Fox, he still has a huge base. He’s losing sponsors and stations, but people still buy his books, go to his rallies, and he’s still a voice on the Right that can move mountains. It’s not about shutting him up. I hope he keeps talking so people have more evidence to show just how much of a manipulative bastard he is. Just reading through his declaration shows everything that’s wrong with conservatism and the Tea Party.

Actually comparing its goals to Beck’s actions?

It shows that his audience either just responds “yes” to everything he says, they can’t read, or they have a twelve-hour memory. Either way, they should go back to playing with crayons and wearing diapers.

He and his audience are so full of shit they must change undies ten times a day.


Beck by ~OnlyObsessive on deviantART

Aug 252011
 

August 25, 2011

As I read through my Star Wars books and look for inspiration for this RPG we’re playing on Saturday, I can’t help but notice that the world continues to turn. Behold, the joys of internet surfing, wasting time, and everything you need to know!

  • You want something truly American? Joe the Plumber and Steven Segal. Granted, one’s a loon who made his mark with the Tea Party and the other is a washed-up action star with an ego the size of a small Pacific island, but still… It’s like pizza and beer.
  • Carrie Fisher has lost for than fifty months in the last nine months? Her goal? Getting back into the metal bikini. Seriously, though, she’s going it to help herself and she looks great. May the Force be her!
  • As I type this, Glenn Beck is in the Holy Land doing the Lord’s work… selling himself and his brand. No, really. If you’re a Christian and still think this whacko has ANY point on anything, please watch him hawk HIMSELF at his Jerusalem rally. He claims it doesn’t take a prophet to see the things he sees. Frankly, it takes brain damage to see the things he sees.
  • And finally, this has to be THE best commercial I’ve seen all year. Just watch it and try to guess what it’s selling.

Dirt Devil-The Exorcist from MrPrice2U on Vimeo.

Aug 242011
 

Yes, the eyes are Photoshopped. No, the base image is not fake. Yes, she really does look insane ALL THE TIME.

August 24, 2011

As Mary and I watched The Silence of the Lambs (again), something happened that made me sit up and take note. No, it wasn’t that Buffalo Bill is now apparently Captain of the San Francisco Homicide Division. Apparently, Michelle Bachmann is a serial killer or agrees with their actions.

Now, hold on. I’m going to employ some Right-Wing thinking to connect the dots.

Bachmann was adamant she wanted to use Tom Petty’s “American Girl.” Petty insisted she couldn’t, but Bachmann went ahead anyway. That same song played in Silence of the Lambs right before Buffalo Bill took his sixth victim.

Bachmann also said she was proud to be from the same town as John Wayne… Gacy. She insists she meant John Wayne, but THAT Wayne was from a different town.

Finally, Bachmann mixed up Elvis’ birth and death dates, which could be a simple result of her staff being comprised of chimps and barely-sentient mayonnaise. However, this would seem to indicate a need to celebrate death.

What’s the result of all these incidents? Bachamann must either be a serial killer or sympathize with them. It’s the only explanation that makes sense.


Fluttershy Bachmann by ~GonzoTheAnime on deviantART

Of course, this is nothing but wild imaginings. It’s the kind of logic that makes Beck see a world-wide conspiracy from progressives that is both well-funded and coordinated and somehow has escaped everyone else’s investigations. It’s the kind of logic that people like the NRA use when they claim that any form of gun legislation is some attempt by the United Nations to get their guns. It’s the same kind of logic bad students use when they claim teachers are out to get them when said students don’t even do the work.

It’s the logic of the conspiracy theorist. Take a series of events, however random, and link them to a preconceived notion. Beck, for example, believes he is right about everything, which for anyone else would be simple narcissism and delusion. He’s an addict, a former druggie and alcoholic, and his brain works by latching itself to things it likes. The idea of being persecuted, of being special, is at the heart of all conspiracies involving cover-ups. That’s like candy for Beck’s brain.


conspiracy theory demote by ~marsmar on deviantART

Making weird connections like this is usually glamorized for shows like House. Finding the patterns in the chaos is the whole point of this site, in fact. However, just seeing connections is not enough. You have to be able to prove each step. Don’t start with the conclusion and then find evidence for it or you’ll invite others to have to disprove your theory.

For example, anyone out there care to disprove my Bachmann serial killer theory? Go ahead. I’ll wait.


Conspiracy by ~stevensonalexj on deviantART

Jul 142011
 

July 14, 2011

Wow. Thursday already? The week is going by at rocket-speed… except when I want it. Oh well. Let’s get some links up in!

  • Sarah Palin got a documentary called The Undefeated? Didn’t she lose the vice-presidency and quit her gubernatorial job mid-way through?
  • I had an interesting conversation regarding meat on Twitter. I’ll probably write more about it later, but suffice to say I’m a proud meat-eater and have no qualms about killing an animal for my food. With that in mind, there’s a reason a lot of vegetarians and vegans get a bad rep. It’s self-involved jerks like this that make the rest of you look bad.
  • And finally, here’s the trailer for the sequel to Sherlock Holmes. I hope they don’t overdo the bullet-time, but other than that, it looks fun. See you tomorrow!

Jul 052011
 

July 5th 2011

As we all know, yesterday was the day we celebrate the Founding Fathers abolishing slavery, standing up to evolution, and ending communism. Or something like that. I don’t know. I’ve been looking over Bachmann and Palin quotes.

Anyway, let’s go over a few things hot on the internet and news cycles and see if we can find a few items of interest.

  • Fox News is, for better or worse, one of the mainstream media outlets. However, a few journalists have uncovered the secret 25-year-old plank for Fox News, a plan set in motion back in the Nixon Era. The bad journalism and the blatant slant and spin? It’s not an accident…
  • And finally, let’s look at a few people who do not know how to practice safe fireworks habits. See you tomorrow!