Rick Perry Really Hates Gay Sex

I approve this message.

December 9, 2011

I hate Rick Perry, but he can always be counted on to follow in Dubya’s footsteps and say something utterly stupid.


Even though Fox recently declared victory on the War on Christmas, they’re not letting up. After all, not everyone is saying “Merry Christmas” and schools are getting rid of Christmas parties during school. People keep insisting on calling Christmas Trees “holiday trees.” Next thing you know, Obama will order NORAD to track Santa and shoot the fat bastard out of the sky when he flies over restricted airspace.

However, Perry is about as honest as he is pro-gay.

Students are not being banned from celebrating Christmas. Schools are moving celebrations to afterschool activities so as not to cut into precious classroom time. Trust me. Every minute counts when you have to teach kids. It’s a matter of priorities. What is more important for children? Getting to sing Christmas carols during school or actually getting an education and having the party AFTER school?

Happy Holidays by ~TheCass on deviantART

Kids are NOT being banned from celebrating Christmas. The school has no authority over what religion they practice outside of the classroom, but the school DOES have a responsibility to teach children. And guess what? You CAN pray in school. Oh yes. If a school ever banned someone from praying, it would get in trouble with the ACLU and the whole alphabet soup. The thing conservatives are mad about is the ban on school SPONSORED prayer.

A school can’t make children pray or participate in religious-themed activities any more Congress can make its members start the day with prayer.

Oh wait, they do that already.

And it’s illegal. So are religious tests for public office, but that hasn’t stopped some states, including my own, from having them.

The War on Christmas should be renamed the “War for Christmas.” Conservatives want to make sure everyone follows their own brand of Christianity because if other faiths are allowed, that means NO one will want to be Christian, right? It’s kind of how making abortion legal made every woman want to get an abortion. Or how making same-sex marriage legal suddenly turned everyone gay in a couple of states.

Oh, right, that didn’t happen either.

Christmas Night. Magic scene with flying Santa by ~AlexandraF on deviantART

Just remember this. Whenever a conservative wines about a war on religion or a war on Christmas or Halloween or anything like that, it’s because conservatives have a very weird mind-set. If something is legal, then it must be mandatory. It’s why they’re so scared of gay marriage. Rick Perry seems to think gay sex will be mandatory and he won’t be able to put up a Christmas tree if the liberals get their way.

Hey, Perry? We’re okay with you celebrating Christmas. And you don’t have to have gay sex. Just, for the love of all things good and decent, shut the fuck up.

PS: Your own staff thought this was a terrible idea. Asshole.

Let’s enjoy a puppy fighting with an ice cube just to wash all that out of our heads, shall we?

War on Christmas 2011

November 18, 2011

This is a very quick post, no pics, no nothing, but I need to say something…

It’s not even Thanksgiving and the War on Christmas is in full swing. Heathens, pagans, atheists, and dirty liberals, rally to me! We’re going to make sure Santa gets shot down by NATO, the Nativity gets replaced with heavy metal cut-outs, and all Christmas carols are replaced with Cthulhu songs.

If you asked the good folks at Fox and the Drudge Report, that’s pretty much what’s happening. Ladies and gentlemen, the War on Christmas 2011 is in full swing!

This is the time of year when conservatives like to bitch and moan that liberals are destroying the sanctity of their commercialized pseudo-pagan holiday celebrating the birth of their savor that was actually born in spring. They get all huffy that other faiths have the audacity to celebrate holidays in December. They insist everyone should say Merry Christmas and ignore anyone else least you show yourself to be an American-hating Nazi.

So what was the first salvo this year?

Obama is taxing Christmas trees because he’s an Ay-rab Muslim!

Here’s what happened. The industry is creating a self-imposed tax (note how this has nothing to do with the president) and the new regulations are going into effect. Please note how it is the INDUSTRY that wants the tax in order to help their business.

What did the Right hear?


There is no War on Christmas. It’s really gotten to the point where any action a liberal takes that does not involve singing carols or wrapping presents is part of some attack. I did plenty of stories on this last year, and I was hoping to have a few more weeks to prepare, but let me just lay it out for you guys.

There is no War on Christmas. There are just insecure conservatives who simply must have everything be the same or else they begin to question their faith.

Now that we got that out of the way… bring on Christmas salvoes!

And to get everyone ready for the weekend, here is a video of our future god empress. See you Monday!

War on Christmas Salvo 2: Jesus Had Gay Sex with Ants

December 8, 2010

Censorship! Oh, how I missed you! Yes, I’ve got Palin, Beck, Fox News, and the other morons out there, but the joy of censorship, of someone trying to shut down art, brings me the kind of righteous tingle I can’t get from regular conservative idiots.

Some of you have probably heard about the exhibit at the Smithsonian that’s getting flak from the Right, and even some members of Congress, for supposedly showing pornographic gay art and for desecrating the image of Jesus on the cross. Obviously, conservatives are up in arms… except their arguments hold as much water as a venetian blind on the space shuttle.

World War Christmas by ~Th4rlDEAL on deviantART

I Know You Are, But What Am I?

One of the main gripes with the exhibit is that one of the pieces is a video showing a crucifix covered in ants. Obviously, an image of Jesus in a room filled with homoerotic art would be an outrage, but an image of Jesus covered in ants while sitting in a room filled with homoerotic art surely demands attention!

I want to ask you something. What’s the difference between “offensive” and “disgusting?”

I keep hearing “offensive” getting thrown around whenever someone talks about this or any other piece of art that depicts something which questions his or her beliefs or otherwise shows something “holy” or “divine” in a base, physical way.

“Offensive” means that something is irritating or annoying, that it is repugnant to moral sense. An image of Jesus covered in ants, then, is sure offensive!

Except it’s about as offensive as a picture of an abandoned church.

See, what Fox and the peanut gallery on the Right fail to mention, or even look up, is that the video they’re whining about is about how the morals of Christianity have been cast aside and that the teachings of Christ have been thrown to the ground.

In other words, it’s practically a call for a return to Christian morality. If you’re offended by the image after reading the context in which it is shown, then you must also be offended at the sight of old churches because they’re showing God’s house in disrepair.

Enjoying Christmas by ~caithness155 on deviantART

It’s Christmas at the Smithsonian!

The timing on this exhibit couldn’t be more sinister. A desecrated Jesus just weeks before Christmas! Surely the Left is out to destroy Christmas once again!

Sadly, no. See, the exhibit’s been open since October. People didn’t start making a fuzz until this week.

Also, and I can’t believe how often we have to say this, Christmas does not have a monopoly on the winter season. There are plenty of other holidays this time of year. Just because something comes out or occurs during the holiday season, it doesn’t mean it’s either an attack or a celebration of Christmas.

The exhibit has zero to do with Christmas except that it’s December and it’s still open. It’s like saying Pearl Harbor Day is anti-Christmas because it also takes place in December and takes people’s attention away from Christmas.

For Love and Money by ~raynamarshall on deviantART

We Didn’t Pay For It

A fair number of bloggers, including Andrew Breitbart’s lackeys, are up in arms that the Smithsonian would pay for this art. How could public funds be used to purchase art most Americans would find distasteful and pornographic?

I got news for you. Taxpayers didn’t pay a single cent for the art.

All art in the Smithsonian is privately-funded. We didn’t pay for it.

“But we pay for the buildings, the maintenance, and the staff! We should have a say on what kind of art gets shown there!”

Really? You want to take a vote on this?

Polls in the last few years have found that even Christians are warming to the idea of gay marriage, gay rights, and gays in general. While it’s still less than 50%, it’s a big enough number that it’s impossible to call gays a fringe group. What’s the difference between art of nude men and art of nude statues featuring women?

A True Artist by ~brushmage on deviantART

And your Art Credentials Are…

This all brings us to the age-old question: What is art?

It’s easy to say that art depicting gay sex or male nudity is not art because it makes some people grossed out or uncomfortable.

So what?

If we based art imply on the basis of “I don’t like it” or “It offends me,” we wouldn’t have rock music, Stanley Kubrick, and Star Trek. It’s hard to define an artist, but I’d like to think that an artist is someone who makes it his or her business to understand the craft. Even a critic of art should be able to describe it and analyze it beyond the superficial notes, colors, or layers of paint.

The people crying “foul” are none of that, meaning that if they don’t know how to look at art, how can they possible say it’s offensive?

Let the ant-covered Jesus be!

Jesus Crown by ~EveSalvatore on deviantART